433: Positively Self-Deceptive

Continuing with the waiting point… I often see myself telling myself, ‘I’ll do it later.’ Or “tomorrow is the day’. Within that, a positive feeling of accomplishment, because in the ‘I'll do it tomorrow/later’ and thus ‘waiting’, there is the belief that you will actually do it – that you are committed to doing it. Though – if that were actually the case, why not do it today?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put off things for tomorrow or later instead of doing it today

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, through putting things off till later or till tomorrow, trigger a positive feeling experience within me as the belief that I will actually do it, and that I will actually get it done, when in reality I see, realize, and understand that while I think the positive feeling is a sense of self-pride for committing to doing something ‘later’ – it is actually due to me fulfilling the desire to give into waiting – through accepting and justifying the ‘doing it later’, I reward myself with that positive feeling and thus now can do ‘what I want’ rather than what is necessary to be done

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself within positive energies in thinking and believing that the images and projections I have of seeing myself ‘doing it later’ are real and valid, when in reality it is a construct that supports the waiting in this world, and that exists within me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my experience of wanting to ‘do it later’ or ‘do it tomorrow’ through thoughts in my mind that suggest I simply can, and give myself all sorts of reasons as to why I am right, and it’s okay – instead of working with principles as that which is best for all, and so best for me and so working with self-discipline in doing what is necessary to be done

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the present moment as the gift of life, as what I can do NOW, and HERE, in this moment and rather instead put it off till later… thinking and believing there will always be a ‘later’ or that there will always be a ‘tomorrow’ when in truth, I don’t know that

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to honor myself as life as the physical, living moment, as the present HERE – doing what is necessary now, as it comes up, as it requires my direction and instead put it off, and thinking about some ‘perfect condition’ that will support in facilitating doing what needs to be done, rather than directing myself to simply doing it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to buy into my own bullshit when I tell myself, and experience a sense of accomplishment, through the image of me doing something ‘later’ or ‘tomorrow’ and think within this, I am satisfied, and expressing myself as my utmost potential instead of realizing I am staying the same as the system of my mind that keeps me waiting, and waiting, and putting things off, and thinking there’s a later, and there is a better time, and there are more ripe circumstances that will manifest before I should or could or dare be my best

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to so easily give in to the thoughts and justifications and excuses in my mind that suggest another moment, other than the one I have HERE as this moment, as I breathe in the present, is more perfect to direct myself and my life and my world into that which is best, instead of realizing what I’m actually missing as the opportunity here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in reverse wherein I trust the thoughts in my head that say later is a more perfect time, or condition to move, and change and direct things within myself and within my life, rather than seeing and realizing and harnessing the power of HERE, of being here, of directing myself in my physical reality, as my physical body, within physical action that produce REAL change rather than just images in my mind that show me I'm changing

When and as I see myself telling myself I can ‘do it later’ or do it tomorrow, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that tomorrow or later doesn’t actually exist, except within my mind as an image that separates me from myself, my body, and real life in/as this physical moment and so I commit myself to stop justifying why I can exist within waiting and rather embrace the life as the gift I have as each moment I breathe

When and as I see myself seeing an image within my mind of me doing something tomorrow that I could easily do today, and within that, create a positive energy experience within in, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that the sense of accomplishment I create through an image of me doing something or taking care of a responsibility at some other point in time then now is actually a deceptive trick I play on myself to remain the same, to not change, to not develop self-directive principle and to instead exist within waiting for something, someone or another moment to exist – and that in fact the positive energy is the reward I give to myself for staying the same, for continuing the cycle, for repeating the patterns that do not support myself as the expression of my utmost potential and so I commit myself to stop lying to myself, to stop rewarding myself for behaviors that are no longer conducive to become a being that stands by principles that are best for all and to rather commit myself to PROVING to myself in Real Time who I am, what I will accept and allow of myself, and what I will not… and to rather LIVE it and not think about it, to actually DO it rather than just imagine it.




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