Kristina's Journey to Life

I started writing about another point this evening, and experienced a wall in front of me... a hurdle I had to get over, a stuck-ness that I had to remove before I could continue. The following is the pushing of myself to 'get it out', as whatever was 'here' that was bothering me and keeping me from writing and self-forgiveness. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the point in which I’m working on now – thinking and believing it’s not the ‘actual point’ and there’s something else I should be writing about I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as my words, as my self-forgiveness, instead of pushing through the reactions as judgments and allowing to flow from me what is here I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself within process – in the points I face, comparing them to others and that somehow my process is not interesting enough, or insightful enough or worthwhile en...

Writing: We are to stand in the store and start talking to people when they come in or when they are there – just start talking to them about the water – get them to watch a short video and do a demonstration and then ask if they want to do the 2 week free trial of water. J asked me to show him what I was going to say – I said no, I will just do it. I was scared to do it in front of him – and I have had this experience in my past – where I believe I am more fearful of showing people I know a specific personality – or when I am ‘on’ then some random stranger. SO this is a value point – valuing people I know more than people I know now. Because I believe I wont be as scared. Because the people that know me – ‘know me’ apparently –and really it’s like I am acting, putting on a show, a presentation – and that makes me nervous. For the people that I know –what if they have something critical to say? – This is the thoughts that go on in my head – it’s like an extreme resistance where ...