Kristina's Journey to Life

The other day I again found myself at the grocery store. This time, as I was walking around - the point I have been writing about the last few days wasn't at all in my awareness . I didn't even think about it until I leaned in to grab something that a couple people were standing in front of, and as one of them turned toward me, she said "whoa, Jesus." lol - I took this as perhaps meaning she was surprised, and didn't expect me there. And perhaps I could have given it a moment before I leaned in to grab my item. I didn't think about it until after that moment, and considered - did I move too fast? Could I have given them a moment? I can see simply by the fact that I was unaware of the point I have been making for myself recently - in terms of becoming more aware of my movements and walking speed, to be more deliberate and specific when I'm out in public with how I'm moving, I could have given it a moment. I rushed in there to get my item, not al...

Competition and Comparison. The earliest experience or memory that I have to comparison is to a girl in my first grade class. Her name was Tiffany. She was pretty, and skinny and always had nice clothes. I would compare myself to her and saw myself as inferior. Everyone seemed to like her, and I always felt like I was on the outside and in the shadow. I felt inferior to her. I felt like because everyone liked her, they didn't have ‘room’ for me. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to Tiffany, and to within this, see myself as inferior I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define Tiffany as superior to me based on what she wore and to within that, think my clothes were not as nice I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define Tiffany as more popular than me, and to within this, define myself as less than her I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define Tiffany...

A point I would like to give direction to is 'who I am' at work. Specifically this is in regards to the communication - or rather the spew that comes out of my mouth and others while "communicating" at work. I see how much lack of awareness and self responsibility exists, within me, when I am at work. The words that come out of other people's mouths and my own is astounding. It's like there is absolutely no consideration for life or humanity existent within our words, let alone awareness of what our words actually imply and how they so nicely reflect the reality of ourselves as what we have created and allowed ourselves to become. I saw the point of responsibility to 'put a guard' over my mouth before I speak and for awhile there I was actually walking this application and would not allow myself to participate in certain types of conversations - such as gossip or back chat dialogue - where it's like whatever comes up in people's mind, usu...