Kristina's Journey to Life

May 23, 2020 A point that opened up recently in relation to being/becoming pregnant and having a child (if you haven't heard my story about being pregnant/becoming pregnant - see here , or here , or here ) is the fact that I have not yet redefined   the word Mother for myself yet. I did not actually ever consider this, which is kind of weird to me. Here I am trying to conceive a child and wanting to enter into this phase of my life as being a mother and I have not considered who I am in relation to this word now and who I want to be as a living expression of mother. So I see this is a point I can open up and start to investigate and discover for myself how I have been living this word and seeing if it is in fact aligned to principles I want to live/apply in my life. Obviously the first point that comes up when I look at the word is interesting this word that I have been connecting to the word mother as of recently (again – didn’t put two and two together to realize this is th...

Today I came face to face with a moment as a reaction towards another; their actions and movements and in this moment, the self corrective statements I have told myself that I will live as the application of change, came through and immediately, through the reaction, saw the responsibility I had towards 'what' I was seeing in another. What was interesting however, was once I had this reaction and then the the real truth of what I was seeing - as the ME that I have allowed myself to exist within and as, as it was reflected back to me in the mirror of another, I somewhat reacted to the realization of my responsibility - like seeing more of the reality of the responsibility I must take and have not necessarily taken as I have held onto resentments and judgments towards other's behaviors, so it was like this experience of "Fuck - this is actually me I am seeing, my responsibility - it's not about her, it's about me - fuck, I am that which I see" lol - it wa...