Kristina's Journey to Life

Continuing on from yesterday's self-forgiveness - how I will stop living in fear, develop my own-self authority, learn to live practical within principles that are best for all, and how to focus on the living commitment a marriage is all about. When and as I see myself saying things such as ‘we’re young and poor’, to those I talk to about not exchanging rings when I get married, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that such a statement exists within a point of fear , of thinking others will react to me as seeing me differently and weird, and so I commit myself to rather than engage and participate in the fear, stop myself before I speak, and breathe as to not express the fear and rather look at it practically – am I really young and poor? Is that really why I am not exchanging rings with my partner? And so I commit myself to use common sense, and be self-honest when expressing myself with others. When and as I see myself defining exchanging rings when one get...

So the first dimension I can see within the statement made of, “we’re young and poor” is a fear of being different in the eyes of others, and within this – being judged or seen as weird, and that I must explain myself so that I don’t come off this way – there is a reason for ‘why’ we are doing things differently. (see previous blog for context). I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make the statement, “we’re young and poor” when telling the commissioner we were not exchanging rings when we get married, as a point of fear of how she would react as seeing us differently or weird I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define exchanging rings when getting married as something normal, and to not do this is to be abnormal, and so within this – to fear being seen as abnormal for not doing the ‘normal’ thing at a wedding ceremony I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear going against societies tradition, and what...

Recently I made a statement while with my partner that I would like to call into question. We were meeting the commissioner that will marry us, and she was asking about the ceremony we would like – would I be wearing a dress, how many people would be attending, and if we had rings. When asked if we were going to exchange rings, we said no, and then I added, “We are young and poor.” I was looking at this statement the whole day afterward, considering the implication of my words and how I am living... or they are living words within/as my life . “We are young and poor.” There are a couple points I can see within this I see as important to address. I will open the first point up in this blog tonight, which is: First point, and most obvious to me (as it's come up a few times recently) is the explanation I feel is needed. Meaning – my partner and I are not going about getting married in the traditional sense. There is no rings, there is no wedding dress, there is so expensive ...