Kristina's Journey to Life

This is a continuation from the previous blog - here writing out and committing to how I can and will change in a moment in relation to reacting to another's reaction towards me, and the pattern of 'same old, same old.' When and as I see myself wanting to automatically react to another when they react to me, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that my ‘wanting to react’ is just a reaction , and that it’s my responsibility to stop, as well as taking responsibility for reacting in the first place, as the trigger that caused another to react in the first place. I commit myself to take responsibility for myself when a reaction to another's reaction occurs by breathing and not participating/going into the reaction When and as I see myself projecting images of past moments of conflict with another within my mind as a point of ‘here we go again’, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that it doesn’t have to be a ‘here we go again’, a...

“I know, I know...” This statement is something I’ve said in my life recently. In a way it’s always been a part of my life. You can see it as that point within you of seeing, knowing, and understanding that perhaps there is something you want to change , that you could change, that you are not in fact living your utmost potential, that you are in fact not giving it your all, that you are in fact not directing yourself as effectively as you could, and yet…. despite You knowing it, you just don’t do anything about it. So it’s that point of ‘knowledge is useless without application.’ At least for me I can see this is how I have and am currently living this statement, “I know, I know…” Like don’t remind me, I already know what I’m not doing, I already know what I could be doing, I already know I’ve giving up on myself, I already know I’m not changing , I already know I’m not living the best version of me… I already know I’ve believed I just can’t do it. So the “I know, I know” i...

This blog is in relation to a polarity play-out I have had within myself/my mind , wherein in the past couple years I have had this experience of 'missing' and 'longing for' a past relationship . It is what I would consider obsessive. Thoughts always popping up and running, consuming many moments inside my mind about this past relationship . As of recently - the opposite polarity has shown its face. Wherein instead of having this feeling of "I miss him, I want to see me, maybe... someday..." now it's this "He's not worth it, I'm better off without him." So in allowing this negative feeling of, "I miss him and I feel sad about it", reaching for and creating/accepting this positive polarity energy of "I am better off without him, he's not worth it" and so building myself up in my mind as being better then the experience I had before. So what this point is supporting in allowing me to see is how specifically...

Today I had lunch with a friend. We got together after about a year and a half of not seeing or speaking to each other. I didn’t think it was for any particular reason, yet she did bring up the point of how I was a bit forceful with her about the ‘desteni point’ and that she seemed at some point she had enough. And said that she was glad to see a change in me, wherein I was speaking about how I realize I cannot change anyone, it’s not my responsibility to, I can only live as an example. And so looking at this point, or I should say character – I can see it prominent in my life. More so since I came across the LOA and even into desteni . I would be “this is how it is and you must realize this – see this, realize this” and I would be telling them and telling them without telling myself, and applying it myself and actually living it myself. And I can see while being so busy concerned with whether ‘someone else’ gets it – I miss the point myself – am I getting it? Because I realize that w...