Kristina's Journey to Life

Art By:  Paulo Zerbato One point that came up as I was coming to an end of the 30-day of self-forgiveness was to continue the journey with a 30-days of sounding self-forgiveness. This would be to speak the self-forgiveness out loud, sounding myself as the words, as the forgiveness, with my voice. I thought that would be a very cool point to walk as I also have hardly given myself the opportunity to really establish myself within my voice, and my sound. What is interesting is one of the very first experiences I had with speaking self-forgiveness was quite radical in that I saw physically what I was moving within myself... how I was actually physically releasing these threads of information from myself, as giving up ideas, beliefs, self-definition, and limitations I've held onto for so long, and at the same time, experiencing this centering within myself, within the very core of myself. It was a remarkable experience because there was movement and substantiation with every li...

Another point in my life where I've created this distraction-relationship towards is sleeping and specifically naps. I did some blogs about this point a few months ago as something I was going to give myself direction with and well basically, I stopped giving direction to it within blogs and instead 'tried' to simply correct the point - meaning - changing the pattern of how I would use naps or go into napping. That did not necessarily work as I see it's still used as a point of distraction. It's like if I find I have some time to get things done or 'feel' as if I have some 'extra time', I will want to take a nap. Yet this has caused some internal conflict because in a way, I see there is so many other things I could be doing with my time instead of just sleeping. I mean there is nothing wrong with naps, they can be supportive for the physical when it's required, yet my relationship towards napping is definitely a point of distraction as i...

"I LOVE Life" This is a what displayed on a shirt I use to wear, bright yellow, with the "love" being represented by a big red heart. That's how I wanted to exists, as "loving life", and everything was wonderful, and beautiful and 'all was well'. This is a delusion I wanted and chose to exist within and as - because the other shit of this world, I did not care to see, or acknowledge, and of course never take responsibility for. So it was easy to "Love Life" - as I had a job, and a home, and was secure in the fight for survival. But what did this "Loving Life" actually do - blind me from REALITY. I was too busy pretending this world was so grand and great, that I could not see the suffering... I could not see the pain, I could not see the millions asking for help. I could not see what was causing the problems.. I did not want to accept there was a problem, I accepted the mask that said, "I'm ok, Life is good...

" I am so Powerful - I see what I can do. I visualize nightly what I desire and it manifests quickly" This I recently heard from someone in my reality. These words echoed the past life I lived wherein I beLIEved thoughts created reality and feelings brought to me that which I desire. That is when I existed within self interest - wanting desperately to create a reality where I was content - where I was happy - where I was fulfilled and satisfied - where I could create my own bliss. Then the wake up Call. How illusionary the picture board of bright colors and majestic places on earth trapped me into my own deception. Where my vision was set on the bright light that I blinded myself with. Where I refused to see Reality - what is Actually Here - and turned my cheek to see only within my own eye of desire = creating a Reality that I defined Best for Me. The deception within this - is that there is a WHOLE world Here that I was refusing to see and believed if only I saw...