Kristina's Journey to Life

Continuing with opening the word Success - how I've defined it and lived it throughout my life . I have a memory in my life, in my early twenties, where I become quite obsessed with the idea of making money. I was full of desire, and wanted an escape from my life, and I thought if I invested a lot of money in this specific course, I would be able to do just that. I spent one weekend at a seminar, and over $1000 on material, and a few weeks to follow of research for something that did not play out as I expected. The desire to succeed, which was really the desire for more money/financial freedom was the motivation, though I did not at that stage understand what it actually takes to create something – I simply just wanted results NOW. After not getting what I was expecting, thinking if I just threw enough money, and had certain material, things would just work out for me – though of course that is now how it works, and I simply gave up. The energy as the desire depleted and I...

Hope as it currently exists is another form of 'positive thinking'/energy high wherein we attempt to make ourselves feel better in the face of what our reality is revealing. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as hope as a feeling of ‘hopefulness’ as if to say, “despite how I experience myself, I will ignore that and instead go into hope – because hope makes me feel better and within hope, I don’t have to take responsibility for myself or my world, I can just pretend everything is ok and be pleased with myself in how hope makes me feel” I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust in the feeling of hope I forgive myself that I have never accepted and allowed myself to question the feeling of hope I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use hope as an excuse to not face myself within believing that “everything will be ok” and “things will get better” and “everything will turn out ok” i...