Kristina's Journey to Life

Today is day two of no naps. Yesterday was an easy day to walk through in terms of making sure I did not allow myself to go into napping as I was up late the night before, and slept later into the day and had just more than a few hours before work. So I was up, did what I had to do in terms of responsibilities and then went to work. I did see however on my way to work the point came up of ‘wanting to sleep’ – where I had the thought, “ I am tired” and the physical consequence of my eyes becoming heavy and in this justifying that yes, man I really want to nap. Obviously I could not as I was on my way to work, but I gave into that experience through the back chats of “fuck this, I don’t want to work, I’d rather take a nap” and “how am I going to be able to get through this work shift” and “this is going to be a struggle” and so basically creating my whole experience for the night/work shift as being difficult and a struggle in ‘pushing myself’ through in ‘having to be at work’ when ...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to suppress the points coming up within me through NOT writing them out or applying self forgiveness for them I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define looking at and addressing the points coming up within as the nature of thoughts, back chats, emotions and feelings as 'too much' and within this resist supporting myself within them as facing them instead of suppressing them - which would be to either write them out/self forgive them or just ignore them, pretend they are not here, push them down down deep and go alone with my day in doing something else I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as 'overwhelmed' within all the points coming up within myself as my mind - where I have basically removed my suppressor pacifier and now all the shit I have been hiding from and ignoring is coming to the surface and within this want to resist and sup...