Kristina's Journey to Life

I started writing about another point this evening, and experienced a wall in front of me... a hurdle I had to get over, a stuck-ness that I had to remove before I could continue. The following is the pushing of myself to 'get it out', as whatever was 'here' that was bothering me and keeping me from writing and self-forgiveness. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the point in which I’m working on now – thinking and believing it’s not the ‘actual point’ and there’s something else I should be writing about I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as my words, as my self-forgiveness, instead of pushing through the reactions as judgments and allowing to flow from me what is here I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself within process – in the points I face, comparing them to others and that somehow my process is not interesting enough, or insightful enough or worthwhile en...

Here I'm going to jump into the self-forgiveness process for the previous blogs wherein I wrote out this point of who I am in relation to time , specifically a negative reaction I had to the amount of time it would take to complete a specific lesson I am currently walking within the Desteni I Process - Agreement Course . I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react within a negative emotion when considering my own self-supportive application of 'how to' walk my current agreement course lesson as one word a day, and within seeing 50 words to be done as 50 days it would take to complete - react within thinking it was 'too long' and wanting to get it done faster as to define myself within a positive energy as being 'accomplished' and able to move through things quickly I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define moving through things quickly and getting things done fast, as in a shorter amount of time, with...

A point of living/being/doing for outside sources always leads to dissatisfaction and is abdication of self responsibility... all sorts of unnecessary self created experiences - best to bring it back to self and GIVE to self that which we expect to find in others, outside and separate from ourselves here I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to live for me but to instead look for external stimulation, outside sources and separate motivation to push me to move, to live, to change - instead of living for me, realizing that when I am in the starting point of "doing/living" for others, for outside reasons and sources, within anticipation and expectation, I am never satisfied, I am never fulfilled because within that I am living the statement that I 'need' something outside of me to live, I 'need' something to motivate and push me to change, I 'need' something separate from myself that apparently has power over me to direct me wit...