Kristina's Journey to Life

I had another moment this week where a co-worker corrected my work – again I wasn’t slowing down and ensuring my work was complete. I started to react but I could see where I created it – it wasn’t my co-worker trying to do anything, it was me missing the work. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react when a co-worker corrected my work in front of my boss in fear my boss would be upset and think I’m not a good worker I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine a co-worker talking badly about me to others about the work that I do I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame a co-worker for doing something I imagined her doing, not something she actually did as far as I know I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to, in realizing the problem and the solution to me reacting to a co-worker, still not apply the correction/solution and instead continue to move too fast and not pay attention to...

Tuesday, April 7, 2020 Today I reacted to a co-worker because I sent some document drafts and my co-worker responded with her ‘review’ and it was questioning why things were in there, and basically giving me the corrections needed. I reacted in that moment because I thought how she gets off on that – and I imagined she would talk shit about me later. I could also see how it was my lack of due diligence that caused so many corrections needed and I could see how my co-worker lives the word integrity. With her work – she does the nitty-gritty work and ensures her work is sound. I don’t and I can see where I would then react to her. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to A in thinking and believing she wants me to make mistakes I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to A in thinking she is a goodie two shoes and does everything for praise I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame Afor my mistakes in...

It has been now over 2 months of writing a blog daily for my Journey to Life . Tonight was the first night where I was actually not going to write, I would say with a valid excuse, but I am choosing not to because this is the first time I have been able to commit to this point and to walk it with a consistency of ease and I refuse to stop for a moment. The daily writing has been so supportive for me. I was looking at this point the other day of how I felt like I was finally moving in my process - how I actually am making strides within my process and I considered that because of the daily blog. And then I had the thought "my blog is not really walking my process" as thinking it's a point I'm defining outside of myself - something I am doing rather than changing who I am. But this daily blogging is precisely me changing who I am and that who I am is determining what I do and what I am doing is this daily blogging as my Journey to life. This is my Process... this ...

So it's been awhile since I've been consistent within blogging. There are many reasons for this lack or absence of blogs, some have been practical, though most are not. Most reasons are due to ego . Either judging what I write, fear of others judging what I write, excuses of nothing to write about, resistance to writing as putting in the effort, not wanting to share myself... the list can go on. I was at one point within this process consistent with my blogging - I would just write, every night at the end of the day, whatever points came up that I could see I could 'deal with' with self-reflection and self-forgiveness. And I enjoyed it - it supported in stability, letting go of judgement, letting go of fear of what others think, developing self expression within writing... it was a valuable practice that I just let go of. So I'm here to pick it back up. It's always here, it always comes up within me. Time to take it off the back shelf, and bring it back int...