Kristina's Journey to Life

Distractions. That is a point I'm continuing with and going to look at the various ways I've distracted myself as a way to not face myself, to not be here but to simply entertain myself, constantly looking for a form of reward. The reward is usually as positive energy, feeling, experiences, ect - but it's not just a looking for this - it is an attempt to hide from something, to avoid something, to postpone something, to run away from something. Simply put it is an act of fear, fear of facing self and the responsibility I have in this World - of who I am and what I have created and so, what I accept and allow. So first distraction I see I use within my life for this point of deliberate avoidance/escapism is obviously - the mind. The Mind as memories and fantasies and images and desires and future projections. It could be a wish of some potential outcome to play out or a past conversation I've had with someone. Usually when I'm allowing such a point of distract...

Earlier Today: Today I am on the Dr. Oz show and since I’ve been home from the taping – as the date approaches closer and closer I was having resistance and fear of it. The resistance was not wanting to see myself – fear of presenting myself in a way that I did not specifically want – being a part of this discussion that has so many missing elements. While I was at the studio, in my dressing room, I was handed a ‘script’ from which to see how my segment would go. It was about two questions taken from a 30 min interview I had on the phone with the producer a few days before. So I knew what questions were going to be asked. I looked it over – there were words written in place as my response, but I was told I did not have to follow the words exactly – it was what I wanted to say/share and so it was more for the doc, as to have an idea of what to expect from my response. I looked it over, but did not really give myself the time to consider what would be best for me to say – I did n...

Why is breathing important? Because if you are not here as the breath, time moves fast as you are busy with this and this and that(in your mind) and allowing all sorts of little things to "catch your eye" in pulling your attention and keeping you tunneled into one thing, and before you know it, you have spent the whole day on one fantastically designed mind-trip where you think you are so happy, yet you are utterly so fucked, as the day has been left with your responsibilities still waiting and now have accumulated energy and consequences that could have been prevented. Ok, so that was just to get the ball rolling here, because I was unsure of the direction I would take in regards to the blog tonight. Today was cool as I supported myself through a fear I had and I did it, and despite the physical reactions, I made it, lol, I'm still here and the support was cool. Yet, from this I was lost within the satisfaction of walking through this point and allowed it to...

This is a continuation of: Day 122 - Walking through a Moment of Irritation part 1 Day 123 - Memories Fueling Reactions part 2 Day 124 - Part 3: A Moment filled with Many Dimensions Day 125 - Part 4: Forgiving the Voices in my Head Day 126 - Part 5: Correcting the Voices in my Head Here I will now walk the self forgiveness and self corrective statements for the imaginations dimension identified in this moment I had as a reaction towards A. Imagination Me telling her that her kids are not her slave and that I think that’s the only reason she had kids So at this point, A and B had already left, and I was back at home, reacting within my mind and a picture popped up in my head. The image was of me talking to A, telling her that I am not her slave, and that is the reason I think she had children. Within this image of me standing in front of her saying this - I was angry and wanting to get my point across to her, and within this I can recall an experience of being desperate ...

"Be willing to dream, and imagine yourself becoming all that you wish to be. Keep in mind the basic axiom -- all that now exists was once imagined. It follows then that what you want to exist for you in the future must now be imagined." This very cool exposure of self interest that exists within Humanity currently expressed in the above statement was made by Dr. Wayne Dyer. I once followed his words - looking for guidance in my own life - busy with trying to find my bliss and how I could be more happy/content with who I am here. It made sense to me when participating in 'the secret' = where I believed I had access to exclusive knowledge and information that could transform me and my world into one that I could LOVE and enjoy. The Dr. made sense to me - as he gave me words that validated me own pursuit of happiness. Such as the one above. Now that I can see with real eyes - I would like to show you how I can see this statement when applied to this REAL World - t...