Kristina's Journey to Life

I am well into Day 8 of stopping an addiction I once saw as so much greater than me. But man what a cool week I have walked, in stopping and standing up and seeing just how much of a distraction I was allowing within myself as my own addiction. So cool to stop and get back to reality and to the matters at hand. There is an experience in relation to this stopping the addiction that I want to address - it's like the 'urge' to go into my addiction has become quite less and less, where I experienced it initially as a physical urge, then I saw how it was a mental desire in the form of thoughts and back chats attempting to justify the decision to go back into the addiction. I did not FALL for it. So the decision still remain and I am still clear in what I must do/walk in order to get myself through this point of no longer being influenced by any point outside/ separate from me here through my own participation and creation. The experience I am seeing now within th...

Before I came across Desteni - I had placed myself in a peculiar situation in my Life. At the time, I was in a relationship of over 2 years. We both were placed in a peculiar situation where a decision had to be made. I made my choice.. and he made his. We were in disagreement. It was easy for him to 'talk me out of it' and I, in the end, decided to go along with his decision. It was a decision I would later regret... and this is where I found Self Forgiveness. It was almost or just over a year since me and my boyfriend made a decision within our relationship that altered it's course forever. If we had chose to go the other route - things would be much different. However, we didn't, and here I was... hating myself. Constantly thinking about what I did within the decision we made - how much I regretted it and thinking about what would be if I chose the other way. Constantly these thoughts came up - over and over and over again.. and I could not stop myself fro...

LOL - so today I resisted a bit to write here. Instead I have been keeping myself busy doing other things - and actually forgot that a blog was still due for the day. Until now. Until now - the last thing I was doing was going over my lesson 4 within my Desteni I Process lesson. It specifically deals with/assists with writing, self forgiveness, words, definitions, pictures/memories, and self corrective statements/scripts. As I was looking over my assignment and what I have done to complete the lesson so far - I went to see about sending it in for review. I clicked on the link that was presented as our assignment we were turning it.. and bam - it was not what I had seen yet and not what I had been working with/on for my assignment. For context - this lesson I have been resisting for about, oh, 3 months now. Barely doing the reading and had only just recently touched the assignment. I have, however, gotten 'fed up' with the crap and have been pushing myself to complete it. Y...