Kristina's Journey to Life

Yesterday I noticed some emotion come up in relation to the last few blogs - this relationship towards my body, and the points I've been sharing on it - feeling a bit like I've shared 'too much' and in a way blame towards myself for 'making it a big deal'. It's like when you put the focus on it the way I have in dedicating the past few blogs to it, you are shedding a lot of light on something you've for awhile kept in the dark and in doing so, one could sabotage oneself to keep it in the dark by thinking "you shouldn't share that" and "you're making it a bigger problem than it is." It's like the focus of my attention doesn't want to be the actual focus because in that focus, all is seen, or at least that's the process. To see it all because in that seeing, that awareness , one can understand it and ultimately change it. And so the reaction of "it's too much attention on this one, little point" is...

The following is the corrective statements from yesterday's blog, A Cool Point .  When and as I see myself defining myself as weak, lost, and sad, and to within this, experience a negative energy , in relation to not having a specific purpose/point in my life at the moment, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that this is a definition in which I’ve given to these words, and how I define this point in my life of not having such a specific point, and that it can be changed in how I define the words and so I commit myself to purify the words within/as me and the words I live through forgiving the polarity/energy charges attached to them, and rather give words a practical reality definition that I can then LIVE, and thus become living words which will support in the expansion and transformation of myself rather than keep me within a point of emotional manipulation where I’m dis-empowered through how I’ve defined the words within a negative energy When and ...

Continuing from yesterday – the specific words I wrote in yesterdays blog I’m going to look at within self-forgiveness here, in relation to this point of ‘not having a point’ are, “I felt weak, and sad, and lost in a way”. Weak, sad, and lost. So while yesterday I mentioned it’s important for me not to define myself for having a point or not having a point that is specific at the moment, here within the words listed above, I am defining myself as being weak, sad, and lost for not having a point. So must clean that up, as it’s obviously influencing me to an extent wherein I feel weak, sad, and lost. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as weak for not having a specific point/ purpose in my life that I am interested in at the moment I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as sad for not having a specific point/purpose in my life that I am interested in at the moment I forgive myself that I have accepted ...

Recently I sat down with a math instructor to go over some math material as review because I am unable to make it to the tutor training sessions during the week, as I am in class during those times . She gave me some “constructive criticism” – and said that, lol – specifically, to take a breath before I speak when working on problems – as she said I seemed to react to quickly to thinking I don’t know how to do something. And within this – I can see this is helpful and I can use as support for me, as I do think I am not effective enough in math to tutor another, or fear I will not know something when helping another student. So support coming from all areas of my life and can be applied in all areas as well... Stop, breathe and become aware of myself before proceeding with word or action. Do not live as a reaction, instead live in self honest, self awareness to realize all the self judgments are self created and thus useless to live effectively. I forgive myself that I have accepted...

Yesterday I had reactions to a person writing to me. I reacted to his blame and took his words personally and within this 'negative' experience, I attempted to 'find the positive'. I was accepting his reactions and accepted them as my own through reacting myself... and it was so fast from this moment I went into thoughts on how I could make this experience 'something good' within myself. Yet - I had already accepted the 'negative' polarity within myself and from this attempted to move to the positive. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react 'negatively' to another's words to/towards me as defense and fear I forgive myself for accepting and alloiwng myself to participate in the reactions of another to/towards me through reacting myself and thus believe his words to be true and then accept the experience of myself as not being good enough I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept the doubt in another...