641: The Generational Cycles of Suppression and Addiction ENDS with Me
There is a partnership relationship within this word suppression and that is addiction. I have seen and experienced a lot of suppression within myself and my family and an equal amount of addiction. And what I've come to realize is that addictions stem from suppressions.
When we do not deal with or address or acknowledge or change things we experience within ourselves and our life, we are suppressing them. And in that suppression, we create a need to cope or cover up, or hide from what we are suppressing. This is where addiction comes from - the need to feel something else, to focus on something else, to keep ourselves busy and distracted from the real things within ourselves needing our utmost attention but because we either don't have the tools to understand them and deal with them, we run away from it because often they are the negative experiences in life... the traumas, the hurt feelings, the sorrow.
So I have seen within myself and within my family addictions to drugs, alcohol, money, shopping, food, cigarettes, gambling, sleeping, television, conspiracies, relationships and sex. Addictions do not discriminate on what your drug of choice is, it doesn't matter what you are addicted to, it's the nature of the relationship you have towards that particular thing that determines an addiction. And I have seen all the listed above as things used in compulsive ways, ways in which it becomes a dependent and a need.
There are varying degrees in which addictions can manifest in our behaviors and lives and only an individual can determine within self-honesty if they are addicted to something. For me, I can say I have had my share of addictions to all the things I've listed above. I came to define myself as an 'addictive personality' where it didn't really matter what it was. If something gave me a good feeling, boy oh boy would I want some more of that. And quickly that "I want some more of that" would turn into an obsessive need and thus a dysfunctional relationship.
I am grateful for the inner strength I've established within myself throughout these addictive times because I have been able to stop a lot of destructive addictive habits, but the fact that I grew up around the idea that there are addictions on both sides of my family, I was in a way accepting the idea that I was prone to be also an addict. And I played that part. I fulfilled the self-prophecy of the family that suggests because I came from an addictive family, addiction runs rampant around me, I too would become an addict. But what I can see is the missing information, the understanding of WHY and HOW addictions come into play in people's lives. And that is suppression. And that is also something rampant in my family.
So the responsibility I must take here is to realize that the cycles of the family - from all previous generational lines - must stop with me. I must end the cycle and the belief and the program that 'I come from an addictive family' and to absolutely refuse to pass this sentence and CON-viction onto my children. Rather I will learn to deal with my own suppressions, stop my own addictions, and be an example for my children that we do not need to depend on anything to escape, to feel something that is better than what we usually feel, that we can, in fact, take directive principle over our lives and who we are where we can prevent addictions from manifesting. And that starts with me dealing with my suppressions.
And as mentioned in the previous blog, the first point of suppression I must address is the suppression of who I am in relation to my family. In not dealing with what I've experienced throughout my life in relation to family, who I am in relation to each and every family member, is the seed that is planted in the garden of myself that could grow... what would such a seed with such a nature grow into? Would it be beneficial and fruitful to myself and others? Or would it be dis-eased and rotten?
I also grew up within the family having the idea that addiction is a dis-ease and in this belief, it in a way was also an acceptance of addiction. People are "born with it" and so somehow it makes it that much harder to change it. When I can see for myself that while yes, we are born with certain DNA programming that has been passed through the generational lives and lines, I also absolutely see the power and directive ability each has to change who they are as their very nature. So the dis-ease is no longer an excuse to remain the same, but that radical self-transformation is a very real and prudent potential for all.
So opening up the addiction and suppression points here in relation to family - I will continue with self-forgiveness in the next blog to come.
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