605: Do you Actually "Go with the Flow?" (10 of 30)

When things didn't turn out as how I planned and expected, I discovered I do not actually live the statement "going with the flow"... instead, I got angry and resentful and looked to blame others for life not playing out how I intended!

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in anger in moments when my time is not playing out as I had intended it, to be exactly opposite of how I intended it, and to within this, look at who I can blame for things not going how I wanted it to

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry as feeling life was against me and things were not going how I wanted it to, and to within this, feel as if no one was helping me out or 'making it easier on me'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want others to cater to my wants of how I want things to work out as how I have a plan in my mind, and when it doesn't go as how I envisioned it, become enraged and find fault in others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that my anger indicate a point within ME that I need to address and deal with - as to why I allowed anger to be how I respond to a moment of life playing out unexpectedly - I should know by now life is full of surprises and unpredictable

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to actually live the statement of 'going with the flow' wherein I resist, react, and become angry at the moments of my day that did not go as I intended and resist what was happening because it was not what I had planned

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto a plan in my mind rather than going with the flow as how life plays out

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others in my reality for why things were not going the way I wanted them to, and to feel justified in my blame that 'they were doing this to me' instead of realizing they actually had NOTHING to do with the fact that things happened the way that they did, and my blame towards them was actually for how I experienced things not going as planned and here I CLEARLY see NO ONE is responsible for how I react to a moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give so much power to others in suggesting they cause moments in my life to play out as they do, and even more, that they cause the experiences I have within myself towards those situations

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to just want everything to stop just so I have the moments I intended to have

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not embrace the unexpectedness of life that throws curve balls and big surprises... perhaps quite specifically for me to be able to see who I am in such moments

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be grateful for the unexpected and unplanned events that life has to offer, especially when it goes against what I intended and planned to do, as being a point of support in allowing me to see who I am in such moments and who I am in such moments is someone still needing to practice 'going with the flow' of life

When and as I see myself becoming angry while holding onto an idea of how my time will go as a plan I intend to play out and it doesn't, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand here is where I need to practice 'going with the flow' as embracing life of twists and turns and so I commit myself to be more open to changes in my plans

When and as I see myself blaming others for things not going according to how I want them, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that this blame is actually for how I experience myself... because I can see the anger at the situation came first, then the need to find someone at fault and so I commit myself to stop the delusion that someone else is the cause of my internal experience to things and instead take responsibility for myself in moments when I experience anger as an opportunity to get to know myself as anger and to understand why I become angry in such moments

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