603: Needing Another's Stability (8 of 30)

Every so often I will find myself swaying from my stability because I see another swaying from their stability... and in this, a dependency is revealed where I have not yet fully established my own self-stability. And so forgiveness for creating, accepting, and allowing this instability and the commitment to creating my self-stability

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my stability to be conditional on someone else's

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react and sway from my stability if I think, believe or perceive another is doing the same thing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe if someone else is reacting, I must react to

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to another person's reactions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to my own reactions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as a re-action

I forgive myself that I have haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that if I'm not creating, I am reacting

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself as the creator with/in/as life when I allow myself to become a reactor to/in/as life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become dependent on other people's moods to determine the experience of myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe I need others to be stable in order to be stable myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a follower as taking cues from how others are experiencing and expressing themselves and use that as what I determine my experience and expression will be

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for reacting because I react to and so blame others for the cause of my reaction... of swaying me from my stability instead of realizing how insane that is as my stability or experience is completely and utterly up to me as what I accept and allow

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define life as being up and down, highs and lows instead of realizing life is simply here - actually constant and stable and so I forgive myself that I have not yet accepted and allowed myself to strive to live stability as what is actually here as the physical

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to anticipate and fear peoples reactions and to within this anticipation and fear, exist within reacting myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I need others to be stable in order for me to be stable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to stand on my own two feet - stable, sturdy, steady - not dependent or in need of anyone or anything being something that gives to me my stability, realizing I would thus be enslaved to this external point/person

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to enslave myself and my experience and expression to that of who others are

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume to know how others experience themselves and to assume to know how they are going to react, and to assume to know what they are thinking and how they are experiencing that thinking instead of realizing that is out of my control, that is actually not my business, and there is not a damn thing I can do about that and so I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to focus on, udnerstand, see, and engage with MYSELF as getting to the source of my own internal movment as reactions I experience

When and as I see myself reacting to others that I think/believe/perceive to be reacting, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand there is a level of dependency here on needing another to be stable in order for me to be stable and when they are not, feel like I can not be and so I commit myself to practicing standing on my own two feet as deciding for myself, without the need of others, to express and direct who I am and so how I experience myself in moments

When and as I see myself anticipating and fearing other's reactions, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand there is nothing I can do about other people's reactions and expressions and that the only thing I can do is direct myself and so I commit myself to make me the priority as the point which I do have control over... ensuring I am striving for stability in all moments so that I can build a trust and dependency within me that I will not let myself down nor will I trigger uncertainty in myself or others by not having any control over my emotions and feelings, thoughts, behaviors, and expression

I commit myself to find my own grounding and footing within myself

I commit myself to let go of the need to know what others are expreiencing as using that as a baramoter for my own experience

I commit myself to practicing daily stability through the daily application of bringing myself back to my breath

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