264: Working with Resistance
This is also a point I have been facing/working with - yet without an effective solution I am walking that I am satisfied with. Yet - still working with it and so tonight's blog - in relation to the resistance towards studying and the ways in which I 'walk around it', justifying me putting it off.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a resistance to studying through and as defining school work as difficult or challenging or me as not being 'good enough' or 'good at it' and to within this, constantly accept these ideas and thus create a resistance to actually, physically, doing the work as studying
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into and be influenced by this resistance I have created towards studying through doing other things and not doing that which I am resisting - which is studying even though I realize the common sense solution I have seen works to stop and direct myself/move myself through resistances which is to simply STOP and physically do the work - do that which I am resisting and when I do not and allow the resistance to exist within me - I only solidify it's existence towards studying and thus compound and accumulate the experience until it completely directs and takes over and I create even more consequences that I see/realize/understand are absolutely unnecessary
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be consistent with my school work in moving myself to studying as the priority in my life and instead allow myself to create a resistance towards studying and every moment I accept, allow and define this resistance to be real such as then not studying and doing something else, I allow the resistance to become bigger and greater than me where I create even more of a resistance experience even though I have seen time and time again how I am able and capable of moving myself through resistances and how silly resistances are revealed to be when I allow myself to walk through them
I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to continue to trust resistances as defining myself according to how I experience myself within resistances instead of seeing/realizing/understanding that it is ME I am resisting - me within studying and so based on self ideas and definitions I have given to myself - which then exist within the MIND - which is NOT REAL and as I've shown myself in other areas, once I allow myself to sit myself down, stop the resistance and physically DO THE WORK which in this case is studying, I find that it's quite easy and I am effective in doing the work and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue to deceive myself in believing the resistance experience I have within me towards studying is real and not allow myself to realize that I know how to support myself through stopping the resistance and thus direct myself to make my own decisions about what I do within my days and no longer be a slave to my own creation as my resistance towards studying
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define studying as more difficult then other responsibilities within my day and so opt out of studying due to this definition or actually judgment towards studying and go for the 'easier route' which is something I find no resistance towards and thus use this as an escape to run from the resistance experience I have towards studying and instead do things I can then make myself feel better about in thinking 'well at least I am getting this done'
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accumulate consequences for myself within not taking the moments I have to study to actually study and instead create a resistance towards studying as telling myself "I can do it later - I will have this day to do it ALL" instead of seeing/realizing/understanding this is the same 'ol excuse I've used time and time again that I see is absolute bullshit and only create consequences for me in my physical reality and so instead of continuing to trust this - to instead stop this - stop me in my tracks when I see I am trying to pull this on myself again and instead take the route as the only solution possible which is to do that which I resist - I realize this is the only way through, there is no way around it and as I've shown myself, it is possible and I am capable of doing such things and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give power to my mind as ideas and definitions and judgments of myself within and towards studying and instead stop, breathe and realize that physically - I can study and the mental resistance I am creating is not real and the only way to prove to myself that it is not real is to actually change myself as moving myself through - making the decisions to move myself through the resistance in no longer trusting it as valid as an experience of myself
I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as not effective within studying as a self judgment that i am not good enough or inferior to studying and thus separating myself from the act of studying as seeing the material and the lessons as more than me - I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create a resistance towards something through my mind as a way to not face how I feel about myself, how I define myself and in how I attempt to keep myself the same in not developing myself as redesigning myself in no longer accepting these limitations of who I am within what I can or cannot do - I realize the necessity of studying and that I am absolutely able to stop the resistances I create towards it through physically moving myself to do the work - I've done it before and thus it's about creating the consistency to substantiate the change I am creating within and as me as deciding for myself who I am within studying and when I will study and no longer allowing an energetic experience determine who I am and what I will or will not do within my days
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize what I could be potentially missing out when/as I allow resistance to direct me within myself and within my world - as I've seen and realize how enjoyable I can experience myself and that which I do of what I initially resisted, once I allowed myself to stop the resistance and actually, physically do something, the thing I was resisting and how silly I see the resistance is once I allow myself to move through it and so I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to gift myself with moments of walking through resistance and doing that which I think I cannot do as I see moments of self growth, expansion and directiveness I can give to myself when I make the decision to move me and no longer allow energy to move me
When and as I see myself resisting studying - I stop and I breathe and if in that moment I am able, I move myself physically to do that which I am resisting which is studying as giving myself back the power and authority of who I am and no longer allowing resistance to direct me as I see/realize/understand the various consequences I create within me and within my life when I allow resistance to studying to exist within me - I limit myself in what I am capable of within studying as well as within my process of becoming directive principle of me as well as accumulate a bigger load of studying that must be done when I do not allow myself to do it in the time I have available and so I commit myself to stop the resistances towards studying within me through/as physically moving myself to simply sit myself down and do the work - realizing it's that simple and the moment I think it's not is the moment I have abdicated my self will to the resistance as attempting to make it real and valid - I realize it's not and so I commit myself to live the solutions I see necessary for me to stop this resistance and change me seeing/realizing/understanding that's it's the only way and thus the only option
When and as I see myself inferiorizing myself within studying as defining the work as too difficult or me as not good enough or smart enough to understand - I stop and I breathe and I do not allow such self judgments and definitions determine who I am within myself or within my life - I see/realize/understand that these self judgments or ideas about me as self definitions are the seeds in which I plant a separation within me towards studying and thus a resistance as the consequence of participating within the mind - instead I commit myself to exist here in physical reality and thus realize the ability I have to direct myself to move, sit down with myself and simply do the work and until I allow this of myself, resistances will always be the king of me... I no longer accept this of myself as it's my responsibility and my creation and so I commit myself to move through any/all resistances I see towards studying and allow myself to live the simple solutions that I have proven to myself before that work in stopping resistances which is to physically MOVE myself in doing that which I resist and so I commit myself to stop myself from creating continued consequences in allowing resistances towards studying and instead allow myself to enjoy the process I have as the opportunity I have in self development in all that I do, such as studying, realizing that I no longer accept the power I give to the mind to determine the power I have in physical reality and so I commit myself to walk the process of establishing myself as self directive in all ways within/as this physical reality to ensure I am the one always making the decision of who I am and what I will or will not do and thus no longer allowing myself to be a slave to energy as resistance - no more a slave to my own creation
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