256: My Self Worth

Continuing here from the previous posts where I am looking at where I developed this idea that "I'm not good enough' or 'worthy'.

Yesterday I laid out the more existential perspective; where it's easy to see how so many can have this view of themselves in a world that seems to not really care - if you don't have the looks, the car, the smarts or basically the money then you are not really considered to be of any worth and are disregarded in the eyes of the system and those that participate. So that is clear in how such a world of ours, where we place the value of life into/as the value of money - how much money you have or don't have and how it influence your life. is a key determinant to how one sees themselves.

Even seeing how money is produced and to what extremes one will go to 'make money' - exploiting all types of people just to make a buck and because of that, we have images of what is good enough and worthy bombarding us on a daily basis in tv, magazines, movies, music... the perfect image molded to entice one to buy a product, not realizing we are actually also buying a self identity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced by this world in terms of thinking and believing I must live up to the images and pictures I see in tv, music, magazine and movies and accept that as what one should look like; that is how one should act like and within this, think and believing then and only then will I be good enough and worthy enough in this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look to the entertainment industry for my sense of self worth where I think and believe that if I am not fitting into the perfect image that I see daily in ads and movies and magazines, then I am not living up to my real worth, as how it's been defined in this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my self worth according to what I look like

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my self worth according to how much money I have

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my self worth according to what kind of clothes I have

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my self worth according to the type of hair style, color and cut I have

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define my self worth according to the shape of my body

I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to define my self worth according to the height of my body

I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to define self worth to be that of polarity - where I am either positive or negative in terms of living up to my worth as how I have come to define it based on external factors and sources, or I am not living up to it, through comparing myself to those outside and external factors and to within this exist within a polarity cycle of my self worth as either being good enough or not

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define self worth to be something outside of me here

I forgive myself I have accepted and allowed myself to define my self worth according to the type of family I have

I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to define my self worth according to the type of education I have

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my self worth according to the type of environment I was raised in

I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to define my self worth according to the type of job that I work

I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to define my self worth according to the types of relationships I have

I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to define my self worth according to the type of car that i drive

I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to define my self worth according to the number of friends that i Have

I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to define my self worth according to the types of foods that i eat

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to subject myself to outside/separate sources for the source and cause and origin of my self worth

I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to never question the worth of this world and whether it actually exists as actually being worthy of life

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to seek self worth within me instead of outside of me

I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to believe that self worth is dependent upon something outside of me

I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to believe I will find who I am as self worth outside of me here

I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to look outside of myself to define who I am as self worth

I forgive myself that I Have never accepted and allowed myself to realize that I must live self worth as who I am here for it to be real and thus must remove the brainwashing I have accepted and allowed to be who I am as dependent on outside sources to tell me who I am and whether I am worthy or not

I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to define my self worth according to judgments and comparisons of others - where I will see myself as either better or worse than others and to within this - define my worth in relation to them

I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to use others for my own self definitions of self worth

I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I am able to buy whatever I want - then I am worthy in this life

I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to define my self worth according to the type of house that i live in

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that through these accepted and allowed defining factors of what self worth is, I have inherently accepted and allowed our consumerism world to flourish, where I do not question what is marketed to me and all as the true value and worth in life and thus got in line to get my source of worth that has been provided in this world and through the distribution of money

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not question the existence of our world and the worth that is being pushed upon people according to the amount of money they have and thus the type of life they can buy

I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to define self worth to be according to what I can buy with the money that i Have

I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to define self worth to be that of this world, as it's currently accepted and allowed and not questioned, instead of investigating for myself what is actual, real, self worth - one that is everlasting, constant and eternal - one that I stand within as who I am in every moment and that is not subject or enslaved or determined by anything outside of myself here - where I stand as the author of my self worth, determining as the directive principle of the life I will live and whether or not that can be considered worthy within the principle of what is best for all

I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to forgo the real worth of life within the principles of equality and oneness, to give as I would like to receive, to do unto another what i would have done unto me and what is best for all for the limited version of self worth, created, design and sustained through the mind of ideas and self definitions that is being influenced and moved through external sources such as the media, entertainment and family structures

I forgive myself that i Have not allowed myself to realize what it means to live self worth, as who I am as life, here in each moment of breath - walking within principles and thus living for real instead of attempting and trying to sustain this imaginary life that is defined to be of worth yet shatters in the moment it is not giving to one by another or some outside source as a point of validation that says, "you are worthy"

I commit myself to stop defining self worth to be outside/separate from me here

I commit myself to redefining what it means to live self worth in this world - to redefine what is means to be worthy of life and to thus expose the fake worth in this world being pushed upon people as something we must live up to and find outside of ourselves without ever questioning the dependency and enslavement we are creating as ourselves

I commit myself to stop all relationships within me towards anything outside and separate from me here where I attempt and try to find my self worth through committing myself to living the realization that I am self worth in each moment of breath as self honesty

I commit myself to give myself back the worthiness of life and no longer live a life of limitation where I define my self worth to be that which is outside of me

I commit myself to stop looking for self worth in relationships with others

I commit myself to establishing an economic system that supports the inherent value and worth of all life equally - where we can no longer define one's worth according to the amount of money they have or the access to resources they have and instead I commit myself to moving myself within this life to ensure all life becomes supported to live a worthy life where one's basic human rights are honored more than the mental projections of what self worth is

I commit myself to stopping the mental image of self worth and shatter it myself in realizing it's not real - it's existence is sustained through my participation and I commit myself to live real self worth, which is defined and determined in every moment of breath - whether I am here in actual physical reality, participating and living in actual physical reality; paying attention to this world that requires all care or whether I am existing in the mental reality of illusion that defined worth to be based on ownership, possessions and images

I stop the abusive search of self worth as it exists in this world and instead discover who I am as self worth, equal to and one with all life as the worthiness of life within equality and oneness and what is best for all through my journey to life and daily application of writing, self forgiveness and self corrective application - to stop the brainwashing I have accepted and allowed to influence me throughout my life and how i see myself and all life and to instead get back to reality, to the real living application, breath by breath -bringing through real worth into and as this Life

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