Day 699 (Day 2 of 30) - The Star Process

Someone recently shared an Eqafe interview series regarding redefining and living the word STAR and it opened up from reflecting on the life force energy of children that seems to be infinite and eternal. Their life substance and source is so pure and bountiful - they are the brightest of stars on this Planet and thus the best teachers showing the true light that is who we really are. 

Their spark is so contagious. 

I have the privilege of being with my children full time - they are almost 4 and 6 months and the greatest gifts I have ever been given. My son Phoenix reminded me of my innocence (and so the innocence of all life) and my daughter Ophelia is solidifying that process for me of becoming the best possible living example for them. I must live myself the way I want my children to - staying true to their light/life force, being the free and full beings they are, expressing, enjoying, loving, creating and do what is best for themselves and living the golden rule to create a world of peace for all. 

And so... embarking on this journey to redefine this word for myself. 

It's been a couple years since I so systematically redefined a word for myself but I am eager to dive in. 

As a refresher:

Step 1 - to source the relationship I have with the word currently - who am I in relation to the word STAR? How do I define it, what memories come up, how do I relate to it, etc. 

Step 2 - to look at the actual definition and etymology of the word to get a more accurate definition rather than relying on my own definition (that may not be based in reality but rather pre-programmed moments). 

Step 3 - self-forgiveness for how I've separated myself from the LIVING of the word STAR

Step 4 - redefining the word based on actual reality as what's best for all - a liveable, real word. 

So for this blog, I will open up the point in relation to how I've come to live this word thus far in my life, how I define it, how I relate to it...

When listening to the Star interview series what stood out the most for me in relation to how I define the word was so very clear, and actually I assumed it was the same for everyone because it was so clear and obvious to me. After talking to my partner about it, I realized it wasn't!

For me the word STAR is very specifically related to being famous, Hollywood, having a special gift or talent or skill, and being center stage. It's like the light being shown on you very brightly (already can see the point of separation from having a light shining on me vs being the light that shines!)

So yeah, pretty straightforward and direct - not much else really except for to be a star is to be very special and unique and to stand out from others, to be the center of attention, to be living an extraordinary life and expressing something so profound or that is so different from others. It's like having something so special that others don't and that's why you are "the star" - like the star of the show. The one worth watching, the one with the secret ingredient. All the 'greats' or people that were well-known were "stars" - they had something that made them so much more than your "average joe."

Definitely defined within a polarity charge of positivity - something to aspire to but likely unachievable to the masses. Only a rare few can be stars, apparently not all can be stars (seeing another striking point of separation here). It's like being picked like winning the lottery or something. If you are a star, you are not like others, you are more than others, you have something about you that no one else has and it is what makes you stand out. 

I can see it was very much something I wanted to be when I was younger, because being a star gave you recognition and attention, validation and love, almost larger than life. It's like being a phenomenon. But of course I didn't know why I wanted to be that - it seems that that is just how it was, that just what one is supposed to want and aspire to. Being the "lucky one", the one that's "picked" to be the special star in the center stage. 

And within this though I can see how much I also resisted and wanted to avoid being the center stage - not wanting to be seen, wanting to be invisible, wanting to hide. Feeling like I couldn't live up to how I defined "being a star" and so while I was programmed to 'want that' for myself - I also within myself feared such a thing because of course, deep down I defined myself as unworthy, no good and nothing at all like a star with which I defined the word.

I will leave this here for tonight and continue tomorrow in the next blog.

Thanks for being here.