595: A New Journey

Art By: Andrew Gable
I see there is a lot of room for improvement... a lot of space to grow. Despite having made a commitment to change myself almost 10 years ago, I see I've come far, but there is still a long way to go. Every day I see where I can improve, push myself a little farther, become a little more self-honest, take a little bit more self-responsibility, and spend a little more time breathing.

I still see tendencies to judge and condemn and define within the confines of right and wrong. I see I do this to others, so I must still be doing this to myself.

I still see the tendency to go into war within myself towards another, thinking it's them which justifies my 'right to continue' instead of dropping the weapons and raising the white flag and saying enough is enough.

I still see my tendency to compare myself to others... either better or worse, superior or inferior, still standing in separation instead of valuing the equality of all.

The thing I see, realize, and understand is that I have gained a lot of knowledge over the years. A lot. A lot of techniques, and methods and clarifications on a vast array of subjects... but they really are useless to me if I'm not applying them in my life. How long have I known that the wars I see in this world start with the wars in myself and yet I still accept and allow myself to go into defense and attack mode with others?

All the knowledge of the word is useless if we do not live them and I see it's time to put my money where my mouth is in terms of actually INVESTING myself in the physical actions of applying. I see a lot of lessons for me to learn, and it can be overwhelming to try and keep track of them all, but that is why I'm grateful for this daily blog, and my push to write every day as that point of self-maintenance.

Self-purification through self-forgiveness.

Reminding me here of the previous blog where I wrote about getting the dirt out and letting the water run clean... I think it might be interesting to walk a 30 day of self-forgiveness journey. Self-forgiveness is the way to self-purification... releasing and letting go what's been done, who I've been, and what I see no longer suits me. I see the benefit of writing daily, as a constant point of establishing my commitment to myself and my self-awareness and life-awareness... why not take it a step further with self-forgiveness as the ultimate tool of revealing, unlocking, uncovering and exposing that which has been accepted and allowed.

One of my favorite things about self-forgiveness is how you can start with such a simple statement of forgiveness... forgiving yourself for just one thought, and as you write, it opens up another dimension, another place to forgive, another area within yourself that you kept in the dark, it unfolds more and more revealing all the information that actually exists inside of us... all the beliefs, the ideas, the memories... you see how one thought is attached to a vast network. All the past moments we are re-creating and re-living, all the judgments, the back-chats, the excuses for staying the same when we know we can do better.

Mmmm - so this shall be fun. Taking the knowledge and information of self-forgiveness being the tool to self-purification and applying it for 30 days. I don't think I've ever given myself such a journey or task and it seems I may just be ready.

I invite you to join me.

Art By: Sylvia Simone Gerssen



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