653: Competing with my Partner

One aspect of my agreement with my partner that has become glaringly obvious and oh so troublesome for us is the fact that we seem to not work together as a team, but rather end up working against each other - like we are actually competing, each trying to win over the other.

We both are aware of this, and how silly it is, and how problematic it is when it shows up in certain aspects of our lives. For me it started out in thinking we just can't work on projects together but I know this is like giving up instead of being willing to look at myself and see where I can change to actually make it work... where can I change to allow us to better work together?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compete with my partner where it's like we are on separate teams, playing a game, and there can only be one winner instead of realizing we are actually on the same team, with the same goal, and it can be a win/win situation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe and thus define my partner and I as 'not able to work together' where I JUSTified that statement 'as fact' for him and I - that we JUST can't work together - instead of realizing it is our Ego's that can't work together and if we were to drop our egos... scratch that, if I were to drop my ego and find the common denominator in terms of our ultimate and end goals, I would see the simplicity of working together and that we can, in fact, come together in agreement to work together

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that my partner and I just don't work on projects well together and it's best that we work independently of each other instead of realizing we end up going head to head because we are both stubborn and want to be right and think our way is the best way as all ego relationships do - all in the heads... and so I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to humble myself, get off my high horse, and be willing to hear his way as a point of practically learning to work together where I do not give in to this belief and definition that we just can't work together on projects and instead push to change myself so that we can

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be programmed within team sports and competition as I want to compete against others and win and be better than others, and be #1 and to within this programming, carry it into my relationship/agreement with my partner where even the simplistic and most mundane of tasks, I am attempting to compete and come out as the winner and to within this, not realize what nature is being accepted and allowed in the subtly of my actions of trying to win - which is putting him in a position of being the loser/less than and me basically being better than another human being

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to question the nature of competition and team sports wherein the ultimate goal is about winning and being #1 and having another team lose - and even in our facade statement of 'games are just for fun' - we all know very well the value we put on winning and so I forgive myself that I have never accepted and allowed myself to question the value we put on winning as being #1 and being the best and creating a loser in another/another team

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize the nature of competition and how it exists within me in the most subtle of ways

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that competition is like a war where I want someone to actually become diminished in my winning where I become bigger than other and so in my becoming bigger, someone else has to become smaller - I must overpower another to subdue another

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to challenge my competition character every time I see it emerges within me in relation to my agreement with my partner where I want to be right and I want my partner to be wrong as challenging a fundeMENTAL programming that exists in our world where we let some win and others lose

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe I have to be right and my partner has to be wrong and that is just the way things MUST be because I cannot fathom being wrong or not knowing something - because my ego is so full of itself it cannot consider there is a vastness it is unaware of

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my ego get in the way of humility and groundedness where winning and being right and competing have no real value to me in terms of who I am and rather working together with another human being become of most value and priority

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to put finding ways to work with other human beings as more important and valuable than winning over another human being

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize the importance of this day and age for us ALL to stop competing with each other and to rather start willing to listen to someone else and to be humble enough to try another's suggestion as not needing to be right/the winner in our self-created competition but rather see the value and importance of being able to work together

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize competition is a man-made construct of the mind and that I don't actually have to compete with anyone for anything - that who I am is valuable enough and I don't have to 'win' to prove I am something to someone or that I matter or have value

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define life as winning and to make life a big ass competition where I want there to be losers because I must win

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create losers in my need to compete and to win

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to take responsibility for the world of losers created in my need to compete and win

When and as I see myself competing with my partner as if we are not on the same team, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that competition and wanting to win is ego games and a waste of my time as I am valuing competition and creating losers more than I am valuing human beings working together and so I commit myself to stop the games and to get real and start humbling myself in honing my skills of working with others

I commit myself to redefine my agreement to be that of 'working together'

I commit myself to practice working with others as a principle of utmost importance

I commit myself to expose the nature of competition and it's unacceptable existence in this world and the consequences it creates until it ends once and for all

I commit myself to show myself and others we can thrive in life and not just survive in competition

I commit myself to show myself and others that a win/win solution is always possible

I commit myself to drop my ego and to listen to others as a point of practicing working with others

I commit myself to not accept the idea I can't work well with others and instead change myself to work well with others always

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