651: Exposing the 'Fear of What Others Think'

Art By: Paulo Zerbato

A point here of some fear I am experiencing in relation to those who see these blogs, and what they think of these blogs aka me, and my words and my process to Life. What I realize is that in my fear of what others think of me is the absence of my own self-created self-definition wherein I have not yet made a decision about who I am, particularly within these blogs, but overall in general and so in that void there is room for others to add their own interpretations and to me, this is where I see the fear is coming from.

What if I filled that void myself? What if I decided who I am and made clear within myself why I do what I do - would I fear others adding their own observations? Would it matter where they stand in relation to me if I had established my own standing?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear some to see these words - to fear to see my self-forgiveness and the living commitments I make in my daily living

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the worst in people in assuming they will think of the worst of me if they read these words and ask themselves why I do this

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not ask myself why I write openly and publicly and thus give to myself the answer as the living principle instead of leaving it open for interpretations where others can fill in the blanks and I fear the words they will use

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to articulate, calculate, and design precisely who I am within writing blogs so that I am clear and there is no room for interpretations

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that when I define who I am, I no longer fear others defining who I am

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that in me not defining who I am and what I will and will not live, I open myself up to others defining me and projecting themselves onto me, and fearing THEY are right because I haven't done it for myself and so that living definition of me is not yet in place

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize the power I have to create myself and the power I give to others when I don't as either I define me or I let others define me

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that my fear of how others see/interpret me actually comes from me not seeing/defining me and once I have defined who I am, and what I will and will not accept and allow - then there is no room for fear as I've already made the decision on who I am

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disempower myself into thinking I have to walk through a fear of how others see/define me instead of realizing the only thing I am missing is defining me for me - deciding on who I will be and what I will live by and what I will not accept in my life and in that definition, I am clearly laying it out for myself, and so others, who I am

When and as I see myself fearing to share me here as I fear others misinterpreting me here, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that my fear comes from a lack of self-will and creation wherein I have not yet specifically and deliberately defined me for me - the principles I will live by and what I will and will not accept and allow as who I am and thus how I live and that once I do, I will no longer fear someone else doing this for me as I am no longer at the whims of someone elses interpretation and so I commit myself to define, design, and create me as who I am, what I will accept and allow and what I will not as clearly mapping out ME for all to see

I commit myself to stop fearing how others will interpert me and instead start creating me

I commit myself to realize fear of what others think if me implies I have not decided who I will be yet

I commit myself to create ME in deciding who I will be as thought, word, and deed

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