647: Misinterpreting the Negative
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my partner as more negative and myself as more positive and to within this, already casting judgment on right and wrong as positive and negative - him being the wrong and me being the right and so when he is in such a state of what I perceive as negative, I react because it is not validating my point of positivity as what I think one should live
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create friction between my partner and myself in defining him as negative and me as positive and to think and believe one is the right way and one is the wrong way instead of realizing in such an acceptance of a definition I am in a constant state of judgment and conflict because I am not seeing the reality outside of the polarity which is two individuals walking their life in their own unique ways and approaches but both within the same starting point
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my partner as more negative and to within this, automatically react when I think he is being negative because I am attempting to hold onto a positive experience and if he's not validating this experience for me, I react
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to need my partner to be in a state of positivity so that I can hold onto my belief in the need for positivity wherein I think it's better to be optimistic than pessimistic and not see both have practical elements within their expressions when redefined and considered in a practical reality context
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider the reality of who my partner is as what he goes through within himself as he reflects on himself, and his life and his relationship to things as seeing the depth he goes to understand himself and his unwavering in his self-commitment to never give up
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit who my partner is in defining him as a pessimistic instead of considering the depths he goes within himself, and diving into the darkness as a point of understanding himself and how he operates to then be able to change - I have not dived to such depths perhaps in fear of my own darkness and is why I tend to stay near the light as the positive
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to my partner when I think he's portraying negative behavior and experiences as having a difficult time in life as a point of fear within myself and facing the darker aspects of me and facing the truth of myself that perhaps I still have not dived into and so instead of seeing the extent he will go to undercover and understand who is he as not staying away from the more negative experience, I rather react and resist it/him
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to program the belief that anything perceived as negative emotions or experiences are bad and should be avoided and resisted from the times I participate in the law of attraction wherein I thought and believed that pure positive energy was the way create to a pure positive reality instead of realizing in my attempt to attain the positive, I was only deliberately ignoring the negative of this world and within myself and thus not actually dealing with it or directing an outcome that is best for all
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that the way to create a happy life is to avoid the negative emotional experiences and to within this belief, react to my partner when he shows me he is not shy of the negative emotions he experiences... he walks with them as understanding them and does not fear it - he investigates it and so I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see my partner as the practical support he is as the example of how one is able to face the negative emotions within oneself... as challenging as it seems, there is an unwavering that does not let him give up and to me that implies he is not participating in the negative emotions, he is simply facing who he is and what he's accepted and allowed as himself and is willing to walk with and through it until he establishes his clarity
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to brush off negative emotions as thinking they do no good instead of realizing they reveal a lot about myself and they are here for me to explore and come to grips with so that I may face the pure negative that is this world where we allow children to starve, people to live on the streets, abuse animals and ravage the earth... that is the real negative of this world and as without so within... what is here 'out there' is here 'within me' and so it is time to face the negative as coming face to face with the truth of who we are
When and as I see myself reacting to my partner as interpreting him as being negative, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that this reaction has nothing to do with my partner but rather to do with my relationship to that which I define as 'negative' and I for a long time denied and attempted to ignore and brush off the negative - within myself and within this world - and so I commit myself to see my partner as the practical support he is in showing me I have not yet embraced the negative in me, in all of me as this whole world, and so I commit myself to face and embrace the negative in realizing only when I face it and forgive it can I understand it and change it
I commit myself to end the definition of myself and my partner that creates conflict and friction and learn to stand equal to him as the realization that we are equally walking with the willingness to face ourselves and change ourselves to be that which is best for all
I commit myself to stop thinking my partner creates reactions within me and instead look at how I define him as the real source of my conflict and friction
I commit myself to dive into the darkness of me, as this whole world, and not shy away from the truth of what we've become as the manifested negative in the flesh
I commit myself to be grateful for my partner as the support point he is in his own willingness to walk with the negative without judgment or fear but a complete determination to understand what is here
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