645: Gossip and Talking Sh*t - Acceptance through Silence

Art By: Andrew Gable
So here I am again, facing the point of gossip and the reason is I have yet to transcend and transform who I am in gossip and shit talk. I have over the years faced this in a variety of ways, and kind of got stuck on the point of how to re-direct it because, from my perspective, it is not valid. If someone is speaking about someone behind their back when that person is not around to add their perspective to the story, then it's irrelevant and only supports drama, conflict, blame... the unnecessary stuff in life we accept and allow. So my stance is clear I have no interest in participating in gossip or talking shit about others. The principle I stand within is if you can't say it when that person is around, you have no right to be saying it at all.

That being said, I have never found myself able to communicate these words. I have diverted to just staying silent, not adding anything to the gossip except my silence which can also speak volumes. But the silence I am no longer satisfied with because the gossip keeps coming to me. Just recently I was sought out to deliberately be a sounding board for someone's want to gossip and talk shit about another person. Now, normally I just get pissed off at the person that is coming to me with the gossip - blaming them for their ignorance and pettiness, and spewing their backchat without giving it any direction. But I realize that is not a real solution because I just end up gossiping/talking shit in my head about the person that is gossiping/talking shit about someone else to me.

So what's the real solution? Commitment statements and real-time practical application. Today I finally realized the script I can place for myself, put in my ol' trusted tool-box and use next time I come face to face with gossip and people talking shit.

It's taken years to get to such a simplistic realization - that I can actually design what I will say next time I face this point... I can prepare myself now so that I can prevent the usual conflict and friction I experience when I'm around those that gossip and talk shit. Or perhaps I've had enough where I've finally decided what matters to me and what matters to me more is living by principles and not participating in trash talk because it is just trashy. It's like being in the dumps, throwing around garbage, making everything messy. I much prefer a clean, clear environment.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to support myself with self-commitment statements when facing the point of gossip and people talking shit wherein I can actually write for myself the script I will use when I face it again - because I will face it again - and to allow myself to use my words to make clear where I stand in relation to gossip and talking shit

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress myself in moments of people talking shit and gossip to me about other people wherein I just go silent as a way to not participate but also in a way to remain within a fear of not creating conflict with another person if I tell them I do not want to participate in what they are participating within

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to succumb to peer pressure as not saying "NO" when people gossip and talk shit to me about other people and instead become passive in accepting what they are saying by not telling them to stop

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to make my principles clear with others wherein I do not have to participate in gossip and talking shit and I can tell others that and that should matter more to me then what that person will say if I tell them to stop or that I will not participate

I forgive myself that I have allowed and allowed myself to care more about how others will respond to me saying No to Gossip and talking shit then the principle that I see clearly I want to stand within/as which is I do not accept and allow gossip and talking shit within/as me because it does not support a world best for all - it supports ego and personality and war and conflict and separation and blame and a diminished way of living and expressing - it's it not our utmost potential

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am safe within my silence when others bring gossip or shit talking to me about others instead of realizing I am not honoring myself and what I stand for in my silence, I am becoming passive as an observer and not acting in the interest of all

When and as I see myself coming face to face with gossip and someone talking shit about another person to me, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that until now, I have always remained silent and I am no longer satisfied with that and I am now ready to step up and stand within the principle of what's best for all and so I commit myself to in such moment, express myself and who I

am within my words as saying, "That person is not here to contribute to the conversation and so I think it's best we don't have this conversation without them," or "I will not participate in this conversation without the other person being here to speak for themselves."

When and as I see myself fearing how others will respond to me if I say NO to gossip and talking shit, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that this fear has allowed me to become a passive observer and silently accepting what is being said around me and it no longer serves me or what is best for all to remain silent and so I commit myself to voice myself, as no longer suppressing myself, to speak up within what I see is best for all and that is to say no to gossip and shit talking

When and as I see myself wanting to remain silent in the face of gossip and shit talking, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that this is me succumbing to peer pressure and I am not satisfied with this standing and so I commit myself to take a stand on what matters, even if that means I must stand alone, to say no more to gossip and shit talking as I see it does not serve what is best for all and so I commit myself to stand alone within principles that are best for all

I commit myself to stop the diminishment of life around me by saying no to those that bring gossip and shit talking to me

I commit myself to embrace where I stand in relation to gossip and shit talking which is I do not accept and allow it

I commit myself to care enough to say no to gossip and talking shit



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