Day 713 (Day 16 of 30) - Justified to Fight

Coming fresh from a reaction, I'm going to just dive into self-forgiveness for tonight...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel justified to be upset with another about what they say or imply

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame and resent others for apparently having conflictual thoughts/ideas about others instead of seeing/realizing the reaction itself is conflictual in nature and thus I am the true source/cause/origin of the conflict

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect others to stop the conflict in their communication when I am still participating in conflict within myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe some conflict is justified and others are not... usually when the conflict makes me right/in power then I am justified 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe I must fight some holy war wherein I must protect and defend something/someone from attackers instead of seeing/realizing/understanding and embodying the knowledge that such a state of being/self implies conflict already and so of course I would create/bring war to me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that whatever I believe in or think is true/real is right and what others believe or think or see as true that goes against what I see, is wrong and to then automatically exist in conflict with another as myself instead of seeing, realizing, understanding and embodying the knowledge that there is room for all types of beings seeing within/as existence

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe I am actually conflicting with others outside of myself here instead of seeing/realizing/understanding and embodying the knowledge that I am only ever in conflict with myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a divide, separation, and war/fighting/conflict within myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create polarity within/as myself wherein two opposing forces must be against each other and fight to eradicate the other instead of seeing, realizing, understanding, and embodying the knowledge that both are one and the same and without one there isn't the other. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to win over others to feel powerful and accomplished/validated instead of seeing/realizing/understanding that I have already lost as I am implying I must do something to feel/get/receive something and stating I am something less than who I am for real

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe if someone expresses as an attacker then I am justified to react, blame, and attack back instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding that I am doing exactly what they are doing, only making myself right and them as wrong and thus abdicating myself from the responsibility I have to be a living example

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe and define those who attack others are the problem with the world and thus living/expressing blame instead of simply standing as the solution which is to take responsibility for it all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the problems I see in the world instead of simply being/resonating/living as the solution

I forgive myself that I have not yet accepted and allowed myself to forgive unconditionally all who still exist within/as conflict, as myself, as I am seeing, realizing, and understanding that "they" are me showing to me I'm still in conflict

I forgive myself that I have not yet accepted and allowed myself to release and let go of the conflicts within myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe conflicts serve me and so refuse to let them go

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within/as conflict to the point where I don't know myself as anything other than conflict

I forgive myself that I have not yet allowed myself to be willing/able to be the one to surrender to the conflict and wave the white flag

I forgive myself that I have not yet accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that the path to peace for the world is to be the one to stop fighting. Stop it within and it will stop without. 

I forgive myself that I Have not yet accepted and allowed myself to stop war in the world because I am still accepting and allowing the war to exist within/as myself

I forgive myself that I Have not yet accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, understand, and live/embody the knowledge that I can stop war simply by the resonance of who I am

I forgive myself that I Have not yet accepted and allowed myself to receive the gift of what the conflict is showing me and to release it once and for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to choose fighting over peace

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to choose dis-ease over harmony

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to choose individuality over oneness and equality

I forgive myself that I have not yet accepted and allowed myself to see the extent to which I am in conflict and then take responsibility for it

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to want to be right/justified in the sake of life

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to sacrifice life to be right/justified/the winner

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate the power of my presence here when/as I react to another's words and not immediately and by default, see, realize, understand, and embody the knowledge that what the reaction is showing me that I am simply giving my power away and I can stop it at any moment simply by deciding to

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give another the ability/power to direct/influence me by not taking full responsibility for myself in relation to everything

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe I am justified in even the slightest of reactions instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding that any movement within me in relation to fighting/conflicting, implies I am participating and thus creating it within/as my own creation

When and as I see myself reacting to another's words with blame, resentment, and wanting to attack back, I stop and I breathe. 

I see, realize, and understand that what others are, are gifts for me to see where, how, and who I am in relation to all that is, and with any movement as conflict/friction within me, I am standing in the separation of who I really am as all as one as equal in/as equality and oneness and so I commit myself to practice stopping all participating within and without of fighting/conflict so that I may once and for all put an end the war within/without

I commit myself to breathing before expressing

I commit myself to stopping all conflict/fighting/waring within myself

I commit myself to be a living example of how we can create peace on earth

I commit myself to be a living example of how we can support one another despite any differences we may have

I commit myself to recognizing when I am reacting to another and feeling justified instead of stopping the pattern of attempting to get more power

I commit myself to learning from others and to working with myself so that we may all become living embodiments of the path to peace.