Day 711 (Day 14 of 30) - Who Am I Here for & The Reason Victims Exist...

Who am I here for? 

I have had the tendency throughout my life to show up in places and ways for other people - for feedback, recognition, attention, and validation. The consideration of what others think takes precedence over my own happiness, joy, direction, purpose, and inevitably, well-being. 

This is definitely a pattern I'd like to nip in the bud as it is not serving me. 

From my perspective, the reason we accept and allow the patterns/nature of rape, starvation, homelessness, and abuse is because we accept and allow ourselves to inflict those same patterns on ourselves. They may not seem the same, but they are simply a lesser degree of the same point. 

So, in accepting and allowing myself to neglect myself and live/express/do/ be present for others, I am accepting and allowing that in the greater reality. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be willing to make what others think of me the greater value in my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe i must live/give to others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give what others think about me center stage within/as myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek external the internal reality I am actually preventing myself from realizing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe others can give me the correct view of myself when in reality they can only offer a sounding board that I then accept or deny as truth for myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe I need others to provide me with feedback instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding I actually want confirmation for my own lack of self-trust and self-authority

I forgive myself that I have not yet allowed and accepted myself to give myself complete and utter sovereignty and authority of/as myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek permission from others that who I am or what I am doing is okay

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe I must "wait in line" and "wait my turn" as a point of thinking/believing I need other's go-ahead to go on with my life

I forgive myself that I Have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that I am only ever and in all ways waiting for myself to give myself permission to live

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to exist within/as the pattern of neglect and abuse when I sacrifice myself and my voice and what I want for the belief that what others think is more/greater than me

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to use/abuse others to feed my own need for recognition and validation instead of standing clear on my own two feet

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to do things because I think I "should" based on morality, right/wrong/good/bad instead of for pure self-expression and self-enjoyment

 I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe I need to be a certain way to support others instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding that to be myself is the greatest gift I can ever give to another (as I give to myself)

I forgive myself that I Have not yet accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that when I give myself the gift of the life I want to live, I am giving as I would like to receive

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that to love thy neighbor as myself I will have to first learn to love myself

I Forgive myself that I have not yet allowed myself to see, realize, understand, and embody the knowledge of what it means to actually love myself

I forgive myself that I Have not yet allowed myself to unconditionally love myself 

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to expect others to love me unconditionally when I have not unconditionally loved me

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to expect the world to be more loving and unconditional when I haven't yet been the most loving and unconditional with myself

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to distract myself with ideas of what others may think of me

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to direct myself according to what I think another will think of me

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to entangle myself in another's words as if they reflect who I am instead of seeing/realizing and understanding that I determine who I am, no one else

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to give others the power to define me

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to give my power away to others in expecting/waiting for them to define me for me

I forgive myself that I Have not yet accepted and allowed myself to make myself my priority when it comes to defining myself because when I define me, I define my reality and my definition of reality is what creates reality

I forgive myself that I Have not yet allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that I am the creator of my reality - I am the creator within my own creation - and how I define myself/my world as the living word is how I create

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to give others the power the create my reality instead of taking full responsibility and power to be the creator of my life/self

I forgive myself that I Have not yet allowed myself to see, realize, understand, and embody the knowledge that I Create my reality through myself as the living word(s)

I forgive myself that I Have not yet accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that when I allow another to define me and create my reality, I am accepting and allowing myself to be a victim to another and a lesser being than who I really am and so when I accept that within, I accept that without in the world

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to exist within/as the pattern of being a victim and inferior to others as the ones with the power/responsibility of creating my reality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to squander the opportunity I Have to create my reality

When and as I see myself seeking external feedback, validation, approval, and recognition, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that this pattern is what separates me from my power to create my reality and the greater world/reality and so I commit myself to instead stand in the full authority, responsibility, and power I have to be the living word that defines and creates my reality

I commit myself to no longer be where I think I'm supposed to be but rather be where I want to be

I commit myself to do things I want to do, not what I think I'm supposed to do

I commit myself to free myself from the responsibility I believe I have to others and instead I give back other's responsibility to create their own life

I commit myself to validate and recognize myself

I commit myself to show up for myself

I commit myself to be here for myself