Kristina's Journey to Life

The most powerful and potent moment of my life was just after my son Phoenix was born. I was in the midst of my daily self-forgiveness application, which I had been walking for over a decade at that point.  I had noticed how during this time, after giving birth, my self-forgiveness felt more substantial, so much so I mentioned this to my partner. I felt more in my body, more present, and the points I was walking through with self-forgiveness seemed to be of more substance.  In this one particular moment/day I was applying self-forgiveness, I don't recall the specific point that I was opening up but I will never forget the line of self-forgiveness that was (one of) my most precious realizations.  The self-forgiveness was for thinking/believing I needed to be forgiven in the first place - within this - the realization that I was born innocent and subject to circumstances, belief systems, environments, past generations, and all the things that shaped and molded me into who I...

This past week I have been looking at the point of where my "real" responsibility starts.  I have spent the greater part of the last 13 years on social media "putting myself out there" to support myself and others in a process of self-realization. While a majority of it was for me, there was also this dimension/belief that I "should" do it as a point of supporting others. If I'm silent, I am selfish. Morality was for sure a driving force in my participation. I somewhat took this point on about 4 years ago when the starting point of me/my living changed - I allowed myself to explore myself in more areas outside of the main area of focus I had spent the most of my late 20's/30's.  The point that I realized about myself was how much I felt responsible for everything. Literally everything. Every.thing. I was the cause for all the suffering in the world, I was the cause for everyone's lostness, I was the cause for all the torment, greed, and evi...

 

 We can stop war today.  Finding your purpose with the Journey to Life

Today's share... I say in the video it's Day 417 or 418 haha, I wasn't even close...

Switching it up for today...

Coming fresh from a reaction, I'm going to just dive into self-forgiveness for tonight... I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel justified to be upset with another about what they say or imply I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame and resent others for apparently having conflictual thoughts/ideas about others instead of seeing/realizing the reaction itself is conflictual in nature and thus I am the true source/cause/origin of the conflict I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect others to stop the conflict in their communication when I am still participating in conflict within myself I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe some conflict is justified and others are not... usually when the conflict makes me right/in power then I am justified  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe I must fight some holy war wherein I must protect...

Let's continue with the redefining and living process of the word SPECIAL.  The sounding stage... this one has been in me for days.  The Spec in All. I am the speck in all.  Special.  Spesh all.  Bless all.  Special Space all Spacious.  There is enough room for everyone and everything to be special.  The speck in all. This is like the light within each one. The spark of Life. the Source/Cause/Origin of all. The God that is in All.  Not special - literally the same thing, that point that is us as ONE. What we all come from, what we all return to. The light that gives life to everything. The eternal flame, the point of equality and oneness. That One Principle. The One Directive. All as One as Equal.  That one Point.  There is no getting around that one point.  There is only one point. And everything stems from that One Point. We are One and the Same.  Special-ness is to get specific with who one is AS all that is - as the ON...

Who am I here for?  I have had the tendency throughout my life to show up in places and ways for other people - for feedback, recognition, attention, and validation. The consideration of what others think takes precedence over my own happiness, joy, direction, purpose, and inevitably, well-being.  This is definitely a pattern I'd like to nip in the bud as it is not serving me.  From my perspective, the reason we accept and allow the patterns/nature of rape, starvation, homelessness, and abuse is because we accept and allow ourselves to inflict those same patterns on ourselves. They may not seem the same, but they are simply a lesser degree of the same point.  So, in accepting and allowing myself to neglect myself and live/express/do/ be present for others, I am accepting and allowing that in the greater reality.  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be willing to make what others think of me the greater value in my life I forgive myself th...

  Oooooh, I'm excited about this blog.  The title came up first, earlier in the day, as I was looking at continuing with the redefinition process of the living word Special.  In the previous blog, I looked at how I lived the word previously/how it has been defined within myself and my life. It was quite revealing as I realized there was this awareness within/as me all of my life that knew who I really was, deep within, locked away, but there... always 'there' almost like in waiting. (The key now is to bring it HERE). So I really enjoyed that last blog and am eager to keep this ball rolling.  Looking today at the definition/etymology/root of the word.  One definition that jumped out at me as the root word for special (looking at the Oxford Online English Dictionary) was having to do with "specific" - "having a close or exclusive connection with a specified person, thing, or set; own; particular; individual. This jumped out at me because of the word "speci...

Time to redefine the word SPECIAL.  It's come up in a few blogs previously walking the Star Process and I see there is still some emotional points within me in relation to that word so I'd like to look deeper to see what's here.  I am giving myself permission to break from structure and go with the flow of how to ground/redefine this word.  So special... this word is LOADED for me.  I feel as if the word special didn't play a big role in my life until I started my Desteni Process some 15 years ago. The word, when I would hear or read it, was like a strike against me and I felt like I would coward and hide from it in Fear because I desired to be special. Or I thought of myself to be special and then in process I defined that as "bad" so it was something I was ashamed of about myself, that I used to want to be or felt I was special.  When I was younger and growing up - it was like I did feel special, but also more like an outcast/outsider. It felt like something...

 Yesterday's blog was quite cool and in general, the process of redefining the word STAR to make it a livable expression has been such a fun process to open up and find myself within. There's definitely a push to get real with me in terms of coming to terms with the potential I see in myself and how playing small really doesn't serve anyone.  When I started my process with the Desteni message and tools, I was a meek, shy, insecure, and seemingly insignificant being from my perspective. I was a whisp of a being. I had no standing within myself, no confidence, no direction, no sense of any kind of self-authority. I was lesser than everything, weak, defective and could not recognize myself as worthy of Life.  And this process allowed me to gift myself with such transformation and blossoming. My life has been blessed by this process and I am grateful to be here walking it still.  I do still experience doubt and fear but I've walked through enough of my mind and establish...

What would happen if each human being stood equal to and one with the Sun?  What does the sun represent? What does the sun express?  Grateful to a friend who pointed out the most important Star in relation to the Earth - Our Sun. Without it, Life on Earth would not be.  With it, life was possible.  It shines on everything equally. Imagine if all were to express as the Sun... what kind of world would we have?  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my expression as the sun that shines brightly and gives life equally to all I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear standing as the sun as if to do so would be arrogant, egotistical or unnecessary instead of seeing, realizing, understanding, and embodying/living the knowledge that it is the one point that is required to once and for all give to all equally I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stand inferior to the expression of th...

I had a clear example today of how when I read people's words, I am always setting the tone of it! I am hearing the tone based on where I am! You can read words in a way that's "negative," "positive" or even neutral.  What happened today was even before I read the words, I anticipated conflict or a "negative response" so when I actually read the words, that's what I "heard."  And then after some communication, I realized that is what happened and so I read the words again. And now what I "heard" was different.  We really do set the tone of what we read, especially in the online space. It's so easy to think someone is saying something in this or that tone, but unless you practically HEAR their voice and their actual tonality, you are literally reading the words according to YOUR interpretation/anticipation/expectation. Unless you are HERE and can HEAR from real.   And now I see clearly why it's crucial to clear myself...