02 May 2012

Day 15 - Daily Resistance to Application = Daily Dishonesty

What is cool about this 7 year Journey to Life- where we are committing ourselves to walking ourselves through physical writing and self forgiveness daily - is how it has placed me in a position to see my self dishonesty.. actually it has supporting me in facing and becoming self honest about my self allowed dishonesty

I was not writing everyday - I was not self forgiving every day - I was simply breathing and using that as my excuse to not push through the resistances as the thoughts I would have about 'doing it later'.

This is very deceptive - as I am in the moment of resistance, defining myself as not able to walk through the resistance, allow it to direct me and keep me from doing that which I see is necessary to be done.

To face myself and to become self honest with myself in what I am participating in my day to day living.

And so - this Process - this Journey - specifically is supporting me to face my dishonesty of not applying myself, and how even I then allow guilt within myself for presenting myself like I was walking the tools, yet now here as we are physical showing who we are in each blog we write - I was not actually being equal through the application of self writing, self forgiveness. I was hiding within myself. So now to face it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept the resistance i experience within myself in relation to writing myself out each day

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept the resistance within myself towards writing every day - as a way to not have to be self honest with myself and hold myself accountable for who I am within this world

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself for not holding myself accountable within applying myself daily within the tools I know support me within changing myself such as writing and self forgiveness

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fall within points I face as resistance - believing this resistance is more then me and that I cannot push through - yet I have already proven to myself many time that I am - all it takes is self will to actually do it

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist speaking/writing self forgiveness every day

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide within my dishonesty of not actually applying myself daily and fear exposing this as I fear I will be judged as a fake and a liar

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accumulate self judgments through not pushing myself through the resistances I created to writing every day and self forgiving every day - instead of simply seeing the gift of the resistance as that which I can push myself right through - realizing that once I do it - I have created a point of self trust within myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe breathing will get me through this process - instead of realizing we are the living words and thus we require to see the script we have written as ourselves to then rewrite it into being that which is best for all - so that we then are equal to the living word of equality and oneness -where we become trust worthy human beings with no secret realities of the mind - but here in every moment, open, honest and living out loud

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to sabotage myself in moments where I could have changed myself through giving in to the resistances of writing - instead of pushing myself through that which I realize I created - the Mind as me resisting having to change itself out of fear of it's own survival

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define writing and self forgiveness has long and tedious tasks wherein I then allow an experience of resistance to actually doing the work without allowing myself to realize that every moment of self writing in self honesty with self forgiveness - is me supporting me to become more then I have allowed myself to be - and thus is a gift as I support myself to see myself and learn about myself and get to know myself - getting to know the real me as well - the Me as Life

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compromise myself and my self expression as self honesty in moments where I allow the mind as thoughts and resistances to guide me and direct me - instead of stopping, breathing, and moving myself within the direction that I see is best for all - which is physically taking actions to get to know myself and allow myself to forgive myself for that which I see does not support me as life - yet only supports me as the mind - which is limited

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe i can 'put things off' for another day - instead of realizing the dishonesty in those moments -where I separate myself from myself within what opens up - what is here when I see I can write or apply self forgiveness, but instead allow myself to tell myself 'i can do it later' - I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe there is something separate form here as the idea of 'later' - I take the opportunity of each moment to take on/address/direct myself as what is here in each moment

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to waste myself within time through allowing myself to put writing and self forgiveness on a schedule to 'do it later'

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from myself here in the moment wherein I can write and self forgive within projecting these points into the future where I tell myself that I can do it then - not realizing that does not exists - only here is what is here

When and as I see myself resisting my daily writing and self forgiveness - I stop and I breathe and I become grateful for the opportunity of the gift in the moment to expand myself through pushing myself through the resistances

When and as I see myself accepting excuses within myself such as 'I can do this later' - I stop and I breathe and I bring myself back to the realization that I am here - the point is here and thus utilize the gift of the moment to direct myself within it to get it done, allowing myself to realizing there is not 'later time' - Time is here as I am here and thus I walking myself within the physical space time of here as the breathe

When and as I see myself judging myself for what I have accepted and allowing within my past of not applying myself daily with writing and self forgiveness - I stop and I breathe and I bring myself back to myself as the moment that is here as me.. realizing that the past is gone and I am here - thus I allow myself to stop the self judgments and find the solution of doing that which I am judging myself for not doing - I write daily, I forgive daily and I stop giving myself justifications for judging myself - I apply myself so that there is no need for judging myself

I commit myself to daily writing - within self honesty - where I self honesty look at who I am within my day and in moments where I allow myself to separate myself through participating in the Mind as thoughts, feelings, and emotions. I support myself within the tools of writing and self forgiveness wherein I am then supporting myself to correct my nature - no longer accepting myself as someone that I can judge - but one that stands up within myself for myself as what is best for all

I commit myself to seeing resistances as the gift it is to expand myself - pushing myself through every single point of resistance as I realize there I will support myself to see more of myself that I was not willing to live/see/realize about who I am as life - realizing resistance is self limitation - so I gift myself with seeing more/living more/realizing more through directing myself through resistances

I commit myself to standing Equal - with all others