Kristina's Journey to Life

  Today, I felt some embarrassment and shame around a projection I had on another. I read their words (online) in a way that made me feel they were "lashing out" and "snapping" at me—feeling a lot of hate from them and like they were "trying to diminish" me. I even thought there was jealousy, and essentially that they were reacting.  I mentioned this, not so specifically, but generally noticing a reaction from them. They said it wasn't that so apparently I was mistaken.  Okay, fine. I totally misread their words, and then I was like, "Wow—that is quite the misinterpretation."  Deeper within this I can see clearly times when I lashed out and snapped in reaction towards another and what I've come to understand is that "everything is my energy" so when I "feel hate" coming from someone, it's actually the hate I am experiencing. Likely I've given that type of energy out into the world and so it's now come back ...

 I am sitting here asking myself what is the point I want to write about.  Nothing is really standing out at the moment. So I keep looking while also writing about the process.  Interesting how we can do both things at once. The writing is like waiting for a point. Perhaps I should just pick one.  You know there is a point I want to address but it's more personal and think it would best to walk it for myself privately first. For now - perhaps I will take on another word in the redefining living words process to keep things moving.  I did want to redefine the word ASCENSION because I have read enough books and been a part of enough communities that were asking questions such as "Who am I" and "Why am I here" to know that ascension is a point that is talked about, anticipated, resisted and overall open for discussion because well, it's a word. So why not address it and redefine it into a practical, living expression of life.  So the steps to redefining/living...

I noticed a specific point within myself today where I went into a reaction in relation to someone else having a reaction.  Basically, I got mad that they seemed to be upset, inverting, obviously facing some stuff within themselves but I went ahead and made it personal to me as if they were doing something to me.  What is more interesting is I know damn well I have been the one to go into a point wherein I shut down, react, get mad, blame my environment/reality/people around me... I have been the one that is busy processing some reactions within myself, facing some tough experiences internally and so not really able to express or participate in my reality as I normally do... so I've been there. I get it. I know what it's like. And what would I like done unto me if I were in that situation? I would want understanding, space, compassion, support. I would NOT want someone to get mad at me, take my process personally, make it about them, and just add more layers to the points I am...

I had to use this title for the blog lol it was simply here.  Because in redefining and living the word STAR, what has opened up for me is this point of embracing more of the uniqueness that is me (that all are) and recognizing that I do have something of value to share - like a sun shining and giving to all, I too (like all do) have something I can give and realizing it's not about fitting in, being recognized, being special/more than others - it's about seeing, realizing, understanding and embodying the knowledge that life is truly remarkable and each point in/as/of existence as life and represents all of life that holds so much value and so to standing equal to that.  Taking the position as the role that I was meant to play which was to become the best version of myself, my utmost potential wherein I am not diming, hiding or denying who I really am which is all life as one.  Another dimension that I saw to the word STAR, from seeing the definition of the word, was this...

Continuing from yesterday's blog - today I will dive into self-forgiveness for how I've come to define the word Star in separation of a living expression of/as who I am.  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the living word STAR I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see and define the word star as separate from here as my living, breathing body/being I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word star to be this big thing that exists outside/separate from me here and think and believe it is something I must attain to be I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that the word star is defined as something that only some people are, that only some people are lucky enough to live I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word star within a polarity charge of positive energy and to thus seek out this positive energy as the wo...

Continuing from yesterday's blog and continuing to open up about how I've defined/lived the word STAR up to now in my life and how I can redefine it into a practical living application (becoming the living word STAR).  So yesterday seeing clearly how I've defined it and another layer after I wrote the blog was the word "important" - being a star is to be important, crucial, the main event if you will.  Okay so now I am going to look at the actual definition/etymology of the word to get some more insights into the reality of the word.  Lots of definitions here: 1. a fixed  luminous  point in the night sky which is a large, remote  incandescent  body like the sun. Similar: celestial body heavenly body sun asteroid planet planetoid orb 2. a conventional or  stylized  representation of a star, typically one having five or more points. "the walls were painted with silver moons and stars" a star symbol used to indicate a category of excellence. "t...