12 May 2013

171: A Positive Life - Being Fulfilled

I am continuing here specifically from yesterday's blog where I went into the polarity play out of who I am within the word 'fulfillment' as how I defined myself/the word within/as it. This is also a blog in sequence from almost a week ago, which you can see here, where I began writing myself to freedom - to see what what here in terms of what I was identifying as behavior in my life that I was not satisfied with or saw that I could improve.

The blog yesterday specifically, I identified the positive charge I gave the word 'fulfillment' and how I defined it, saw it was within self interest and even superiority and also could see the consequences I created from living in separation of the word and so here I will just begin writing self forgiveness for the positive charge I gave the word and continue with it in blogs to come.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the word fulfillment to be in separation of me here within giving it a energetic positive charge wherein I define it to be 'doing' things in my reality, having actions and projections and 'stuff' basically to do that I am responsible for

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fill my days with things to do in order to live out the definition I have given to the word fulfillment wherein I believe that if my days are busy with stuff to do then I am living a fulfilling life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my life as being positive when I have a busy schedule with many things to do, thinking and believing this is what defined a life fulfilled

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fill my days in order to avoid facing the negative experience I lived out wherein I did not push myself to do anything or taking on anything in my world or give myself responsibility and so within fearing this negative definition I had given to myself as not living a fulfilled life, desire and want to fill my days with as many things as possible to define myself as living a fulfilled life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am fulfilled when I have many responsibilities in my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that the more stuff I have to do in my world/life then the more fulfilled I am

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use things outside and separate from me here as a way to define myself as superior to others in defining myself as 'so busy' and thus think and believe that because I am so busy, I am living a fulfilled life and thus better than others because "look at what I am doing" - so much

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire attention and praise from others in filling my days with stuff to do so that I feel fulfilled

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become dependent and subject to responsibilities and actions outside and separate from me here in order to feel fulfilled

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that actions and responsibilities that I have in my day to day living define who I am, instead of realizing that who I am is defined by how I live, as who I am in each moment - what lies behind the actions, the starting point for my actions and so I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the starting point of desire as self interest to have a fulfilling life as how i have defined the word, when I take it upon myself to do things as actions and responsibilities within my day to day living

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become excited when participating within desteni as a way to use my self interest in having 'a lot of things to do' as defining myself as something important and special in this world wherein I think and believe that the more I do, the more I am living instead of realizing the separation I am creating within and as myself in thinking and believe that I will find a life fulfilled outside and separate from me here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support separation within myself and with others in seeing myself as superior within the schedule I have given to myself wherein I fill my days with many things to do in order to feel fulfilled - instead of realizing that the feeling I am chasing is not real - it is an illusion and I will never find it as I see/realize/understand that to be fulfilled can only exists in physical reality and my feelings are an energetic experience that I create through separating myself from the words I live/speak - such as fulfillment in defining it as either positive or negative instead of defining it within how I live physically, as who I am in each moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that my life is positive because of the responsibilities I have in my day to day living

To be continued...



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