161: Day 18 of 21-Day Breathing Challenge - The Relationship that Matters

Continuing here from the previous blog post, I will walk myself through some self forgiveness and corrective statements as well as commitments I will make for myself in supporting myself to bring myself back to the starting point from which I will move, for/as me/self here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let go of the priorities within my life because of desire for relationship

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that a relationship is more important that that which I can see are priority and important to me in this life, in my life

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be willing to sacrifice that which I want to live in this world just for a relationship with another

I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that who I am as the relationship with myself will reflect any relationship I have with another and so I forgive myself that i Have not allowed myself to realize that if I am in search for a relationship outside and separate from myself here, then I have not established an effective and supportive relationship with myself and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to run away from myself in not facing myself and developing a relationship with myself in my search for a relationship with another, outside and separate from me here

I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to believe that being in a relationship with another will complete or fulfill me

I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to expect another to complete and fulfill me

I forgive myself that iH ave accepted and allowed myself to not realize that to depend upon on another to complete and fulfill me then I am just their slave, and so not directive principle of myself here, but instead willingly giving away my power to live here

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that a relationship with another CAN complete and fulfill me

I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to realize that only I can complete and fulfill myself here

I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to always be willing to forgo that which I want in life in order to be in a relationship with another in thinking and believing that if I am in a relationship with another then somehow I am complete and fulfilled and life is okay

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my life's reason and purpose to be that of being in an relationship with another

I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I am not in a relationship with another, then there is something wrong with me and so within this I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to subject myself into defining myself as the validity of my existence to be within/as a relationship with another

I forgive myself that i Have not allowed myself to create a stable and solid foundation from which I can walk as a self relationship/agreement that stands the test of time, wherein no matter what i face within and as this world, within and as myself, I am constant in who I am, what I stand for and as and what I will and will not accept and allow and so I forgive myself that I have not yet allowed myself to build my solid foundation as the relationships with myself in order to support me to functioning effectively in this world, no longer enslaving myself to something outside and separate from me here, but standing here absolute as who I am in each moment, honoring and cherishing myself as the life I am allowing myself to live and the willingness to get to know myself for real

I forgive myself that iH ave accepted and allowed myself to throughout my life, abuse myself here within defining my self worth, self value and the validity of my existence to be within/as a relationship with another and so within this, I forgive ymself that i have never allowed myself to find out for real my self worth, self value and the validity of my existence here, alone, all as one as who I am within and as each moment of breath - standing absolute of self intimacy and self love without the need of something outside and separate from me here to fulfill me

I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as not fulfilled and thus think and believe I need a relationship with another to be fulfilled

I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as not complete and to thus think and believe that i require another to complete me

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to NEVER question the belief of "the one" in thinking and believing that there is one magic, special being within existence that will somehow give to me all that which I have not giving to myself, without realizing that I CAN give it to myself and so I forgive myself that i Have never allowed myself to realize that to accept such a belief of "the one" or a "soul mate" is to accept myself as limitation, as missing something, as incomplete and thus accept my own enslavement and I am then in a constant state of need - needing another to give to me that which I have not giving to myself, which is the ability to live here, absolute as who I am, whole, within and without and without the dependency or desire for another

I forgive myself that i have not allowed myself to stand here unconditionally as who I am as whole and complete

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define a relationship with another as priority in my life whereas the rest of my life and responsibilities within this reality to become secondary, not realizing and seeing that what I am doing is sacrificing myself and another in giving up that which supports me to become an effective being in this world, and thus accepting myself within limitation and so limiting myself for others and so I forgive myself that i Have not allowed myself to realize that to accept another to have the responsibility of who I am here, is to abuse them in expecting them to give to me that which I am fully capable of, but have not done yet, as giving to myself and so constantly in a state of need and not allowing an actual self relationship to bloom where dependency no longer controls a relationship within or without, but self can stand no matter what

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fall in the face of a potential relationship, wherein I prove to myself that i have not yet created a stable and constant self-relationship from which I can move from, but still seeking something separate and outside of myself here and so I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I could possible walk with another without such a foundation, as I have seen/realized/understood what is created when self is separate from self and seeking another for life - abuse, manipulation, jealousy, desire, control, conflict, dishonesty, mistrust and ultimately resentment, as I would then resent another as myself for not giving to me that which i am looking for, realizing that only I can give it/live it for/as myself

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not utilize the support I had placed for myself as the 21-day breathing challenge within seeing that as I walked the 21-days this point of relationship opened up and within that I had given myself the opportunity to stand stable in walking my process and the priorities in my life, but instead I allowed myself to squander the support i have placed before me and so I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not support me through the reactions I had in wanting to give up everything and all of me just for a potential relationship instead of stopping, breathing and bringing myself back to myself here, within/as the relationship that matters - who I am in each moment, what i accept and allow and what I see is most important for me to do in order to live for real, developing myself as an effective, self honesty being that can walk with or without the presence of another, but standing within principles that are best for all to recreate our world, within and without - where all are whole, completed, here equal and one

When and as I see myself attempting to or wanting to or accepting myself to let go of myself, my self relationship agreement and what is here as the priorities I have given to myself in this life, I stop and I breathe and bring myself back here, I do not allow myself to follow the search as I have seen where it takes me and I realize it is a trap, as I am trapping myself within believing that I will find that which I am looking for outside and separate from me here in the form of a relationship with another and so I commit myself to walk/live/stand/apply the realization and principle that who I am within myself as the self-relationship/agreement will reflect all other relationships I have within my world and so I use this to support me in staying constant and stable in self first, bringing myself back to me here, to self investigate who I am, to find solutions for myself, to be willing and able to LIVE LIFE for ME here and no longer separate myself within the belief that I am missing something without a relationship - I realize that the relationship I am missing is the one with myself and so I commit myself to continue my journey to life - my journey back to me - to investigate what is means to be here absolute, free as who I am as life and no longer subject or dependent upon another to validate my existence - I allow myself to exist here, to breathe here, to walk here, to live here - to do that which I see/realize/understand is necessary to be done - the real priority in Life.

Featured Artwork By: Deedra Chavez

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