675: Learning What it Means to Express Me

April 28, 2020

I am learning what it means to express myself in a moment. I have only begun to consider and realize what this means for real... to speak from a nothingness. No fear, worry, or desire, only me here in/as/with the moment and what is required to be shared/expressed to support the moment and all involved as what is best for all. This is something new for me. Often my instinct is to doubt and question myself - to not trust myself - to assume the worst of me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not speak my self-honesty in moments due to a fear of how others will react and so instead, suppress me and turn it into a reaction

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see when I suppress my expression and how that turns into a reaction

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand when my expression is wanting to come through

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to condition myself to suppress my self as my expression in any given moment that I cannot recognize when I need to express something specific

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to trust me in a moment of expression

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to slow down in moments to be able to recognize my expression

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to nurture and honor my expression and rather suppress them into reactions

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see in every moment where I’m coming from as either fear or worry or a judgment or a reaction so that I can identify when I am reacting and when I am expressing

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize the utmost potential of me as an expression

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that my expression is unique to me and can change in any given moment as what is required and need and best for all in any given moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed fear to get in the way of my expression

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to get to know my expression because I’ve always judged myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist and live in such a way where I do not trust myself as my expression - that I do not trust myself when I see something needs to be said or moved or directed and rather question and doubt myself and to in turn create more reactions as I did not allow me to flow as my expression here

When and as I see myself wanting to express myself in a moment, without fear, worry, excitement, love - without any energy but rather ME here in the moment, but question and doubt myself I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that I will not get to know myself as expression until I allow myself to EXPRESS and trust myself when I see I am clear in a moment and so I commit myself to go for it - to express myself when I see I am clear... to trust the moment as what is here and what is within me to be said or moved or directed

I commit myself to trust myself enough to act in the interest of what is best for all in any given moment

I commit myself to practice stopping myself when I am reacting to prevent myself from speaking words of emotions but to rather speak from a space of purity that is without want or desire and is simply here to be expressed

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