507: Creating Physical Exhaustion through Mental Exertion part 2
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel as though I can't do as much during my days when I work, whereas when I don't work I am much more willing to be active and productive throughout my day
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to change who I am now that I'm back at work, doing less during the days I work within a fear of over exerting myself, and getting tired at work
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel as though I can't do as much as I can do on a day off when I'm working because the amount of energy needed for work, and so in an attempt to preserve energy, do less during my days
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to change they way I direct myself when I'm working or not working, where I am less directive when I have to work
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I have to reserve my energy when I work, thus do less during those days
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist doing more during the days I work within a fear that I will exert too much energy and not feel comfortable while at work
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel hopeless when I'm tired or physically uncomfortable at work and thus want to do less within my days when I'm working in hopes to prevent that experience
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stress and worry myself when I have obligations before work that keep me out of the house for longer than I would like - to within this, create a mental exertion that cause physical tiredness
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it's the physical actions I do that will cause me to be tired at work, instead of looking at how the mental stress and worry as thoughts play a part in using up the physical resources that actual cause the tiredness/exhaustion at work
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to yet realize that if I were to be less in the mind in relation to this point, I perhaps could walk a day when I work productively, active and consistent
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to yet realize that the highs and lows of my experience on the days I work, wherein I fear going into the low energy polarity, only exist within the mind, and through my participation in the mind, I am creating the very thing I fear, instead of working more in the physical - as walking breath by breath and not allowing thoughts of fear to consume me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resource my physical body for energy to exist within the mind, instead of keeping it within the physical through breathing, being present, and focusing on my physical reality/environment/actions
When and as I see myself fearing the experience of being tired at work, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that the exact fear uses energy and thus can create the experience I am actually fear as having low energy/being tired at work. And so I commit myself to stop fearing, and start focusing myself more on the physical - the actions and activities to do, and spend less time in my mind fearing an experience that may happen later
When and as I see myself reacting to having to be out of the house longer than I think I should because of work, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that the expectation of being out of the house for longer than intended only creates strain on the body, as my reaction uses physical resources, and so I commit myself to rather preserve my energy for my physical body and actions, and to not use it on the mind as an experience of a reaction. I commit myself to not have expectations about how my day will go if I'm busy out of the house before work, and rather walk breath by breath.
When and as I see myself wanting to do less within the days I work, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that this want is based within a fear, and so I commit myself to stop living within/as fear, as having fear direct me and instead practice directing myself wherein I focus more on my breath, and my physical environment, and so my physical actions
When and as I see myself feeling trapped at work within an uncomfortable experience, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that there is nothing I can do when I'm at work and feeling physically unstable except support myself to ground myself within my physical body and so I commit myself to in such moments, embrace the experience, as embracing what is here, and support myself with breathing, and grounding myself within my physical body - not fighting it or wishing I was somewhere else
I commit myself to stop resourcing my physical body to fuel the mind as thoughts, feelings, and emotions and rather practice on breathing throughout my day, grounding myself in my physical body - focusing on using my physical resources for physical living
I commit myself to test all ways in which I can support myself within this point to create a point of consistency wherein who I am on the days I work, and the days I don't work are the same - nothing changes except what I have to do during those days - I, as the WHO I AM, remain the same
I commit myself to stop resisting doing more during the days I work, and instead practice doing more within awareness, and so support myself to be HERE for/as myself within anything/all that I have to do
Featured Artwork: Andrew Gable and Marlen Vargas Del Razo
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