388: Getting to the Root of Change
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create relationships within my life that are of resistance, wherein I resist certain aspect, relationship and responsibilities within my day to day living, instead of directing myself or changing myself in relation to the particular aspect/point and to within this creation of mine, not take responsibility but to instead allow it to play out into a manifested consequence (symptom) of my avoidance as napping
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that to resist anything within/as this world and reality, as well as any aspect or part of my day to day living is to in fact me resisting ME within the principles of equality and oneness - I am equal to and one with ALL that I resist, avoid and run away from
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I can just stop any and all habits or points within me/my life without understanding the WHY and WHAT as the actual source of 'the problem' as well as then within the principle of preventing it from being created again - preventing being the best cure
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish that change was as easy as stopping, where sometimes it may be, and sometimes it may not and so I must allow myself to be open to working with and understanding what is here as my nature as the relationships of resistance I have created towards aspects/points in my life
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to understand the nature of my napping, being as a way to cope with the resistances I have towards things in my life
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not utilize the gift of resistance being a point of expansion and understanding how I've created myself as my mind towards things in my world and reality and so giving myself the insight into myself and how I am able to change me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to my ineffectiveness at stopping/changing my napping habit as in defining myself as useless or that I'm not good enough, or there is something wrong with me instead of seeing/realizing that I was not allowing myself to slow down and understand WHAT and WHY I was existing in such a habit/pattern
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to give myself the patience as the space and time to get to know myself in relation to any and all resistances I may face within my day and my life, and instead want immediate results NOW within an energy of urgency and being rushed
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want the instant gratification of changing a point without understanding how I've created it and where it started in my life thus revealing a point of defining change within a positive energy and thus seek this positive energy within change, instead of changing for real without an expected outcome as a positive experience - wanting the reward without putting in the time and effort, the actual physical process/walk of self-change
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect myself to be able to stop any point at any time that I may face as the process of changing my nature, yet think and believe I can do this without any understanding and to then become frustrated or irritated in not being able to stop without seeing and realizing that I am not allowing myself to get to the source/cause/origin of the problem - weeding out the root of the problem instead of trying to just trim the tree
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that how I currently exist has an origin point within my life wherein it took space and time, and a constant acceptance and allowance of myself to condition and create myself in certain behaviors and patterns and it can take equally as long to stop/change and recreate myself in relation to that habit/pattern and so instead of expecting and wanting instant change, to realize that it will take a process within space and time, as the physical reality indicate the movement of Real time, is slow but steady and so it is up to me to align myself in real time with the process of change, as every day giving myself the space and time, through/as breath, to walk this slowly but surely, and steadily to ensuring I am understanding all parts of myself as taking responsibility for what I am, what I've created and how to actually change
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize the opportunity I have within the process of understanding WHY I do what I do as the habits and patterns I live out, and instead just want to STOP and CHANGE without understanding the mechanics of it, me or my mind
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in relation to changing myself within the starting point of urgency and immediate results and so when something takes more time and attention and understanding on my part, become frustrated and irritated and think I'm doing something wrong and so further myself into self-definitions that do not serve me instead of realizing that if I were to change myself in relation to HOW I change, the process becomes more natural and effective as I am not forcing myself to move in ways that are not practical and instead giving myself the time and space and the understanding to see what is here, how it was created, and how it can be changed for good.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become so accustomed to the movement of my mind as things happen in a quantum moment, that I have reacted to the actual, physical real measurement of time as breath by breath and so not realizing that only through breath by breath will I change me, not by forcing a stop but instead a gentle, consistent and steady walk in the direction I set out within my own directive principle
Self corrective/commitment statements in the next blog
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