389: Correcting My Starting Point of Change
When and as I see myself resisting certain aspects, relationships and responsibilities within my day to day living, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize and understand that the resistances I experience towards things, people, aspects or parts of my life and day to day living are in fact my creation and sustained through my own acceptance and allowance. And so I commit myself to instead direct myself and change myself in relation to the particular aspect/point as well as take responsibility to not allow such resistances to play out into a manifested consequence such as allowing myself to avoid these things with napping
When and as I see myself resisting anything or anyone within/as this world and reality, as well as anything within/as my day to day living, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that this is in fact Me resisting Me as the principle of Equality and Oneness - being that I am Equal to and One with what is here and so I commit myself to stop resisting Me as the Totality of Me and to no longer resist, avoid or run away from me and instead face me and sort out the relationships of resistances I have towards me
When and as I see myself thinking and believing that I can just stop any and all habits/patterns within me and my life without understanding the Why and the What, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that the Why and the What as understanding a particular habit or pattern I am attempting to change is the actual source of 'the problem'. I commit myself to understand the nature of the habit and/or pattern I am wanting to change through writing about the resistance and identifying the thoughts, feelings and emotions that sustain such a resistance as actually getting to the root of the problem and so the solution.
When and as I see myself wishing that change was as easy as just stopping in one moment, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize and understand that this is within a starting point of wanting change without putting in any effort or work and while sometimes change can happen in a moment, as I have experienced this as well, some habits and patterns are more conditioned as being more automated and so I commit myself to open myself up to working with and understanding what is here as my nature as specific patterns and habit I find more difficult to stop in a moment through the tool of writing, and self-forgiveness as preparing myself for that moment of application wherein I have enough understanding and awareness to stop and change the pattern/habit in a moment
When and as I see myself resisting aspects or part of my life, and not giving them direction in terms of walking through the resistance, and instead simply allow it to exist, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that resistances are a gift as a point of expansion and understanding how I've created myself as my mind towards things in my world and reality and so I commit myself to give myself this gift of getting to know what I am resisting, and WHY as the insights into myself and the potential solutions I am able to apply in my life to change me
When and as I see myself reacting to myself as being ineffective as stopping and changing my napping habit as defining myself as useless, not strong enough or thinking there is something wrong with me, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that my reaction to my process of getting to know myself as the nature I've created as myself does not serve me in actually changing but only adds more layers to deal with as additional emotional energy in relation to the point of napping and resistances. I commit myself to instead allow myself to slow down and understand What and WHY I am existing in such a habit/pattern instead of focusing on what I'm doing wrong - sticking to the task at hand and not distracting myself with unnecessary emotional reactions that do not in fact support me to change the pattern/habit
When and as I see myself not giving myself the patience as the time and space to get to know myself in relation to any and all resistances I may face within my day and my life, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize and understand that this is within the starting point of wanting immediate results NOW within an energy of urgency and being rushed within an expectation that I 'should' be moving faster and thus not allowing myself to See in the totality of myself as what is actually here, what I am actually facing as resistance in identifying the thoughts, feelings and emotions that create such a relationship. I commit myself to instead slow myself down and work with any resistance within the tool of writing and identifying any and all thoughts, emotions, feelings, memories, ideas, beliefs, self definitions of my mind that are sustaining a relationship of resistance within me.
When and as I see myself wanting the instant gratification of changing a point within/as me without understanding how I've created it and where it started in my life, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize and understand that this reveals a point of defining change within a positive energy and thus within it, I am seeking a positive energy experience within change. I commit myself to instead change for real without an expected outcome or time frame with which I 'should' be changed, as wanting the reward without putting in the time and effort as the actual physical labor required. I commit myself to walk the process in real time, physical time measured breath by breath and word by word within the tools of writing, self forgiveness, self commitment and then walking the correction in the moment
When and as I see myself expecting myself to be able to stop any point at any time that I may face as the process of changing my nature, yet when I'm not able to, become frustrated and irritated with myself, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize and understand that while some points may be done in such a way, I see that in relation to my napping habit as an outflow of not directing myself within resistances towards things in my life it will take understanding through writing and self-forgiveness. And so I commit myself to get to the source of my napping habit as understanding the resistances I face within things in my world and reality as the actual cause and origin - allowing myself to take out the root rather than just stop napping as only trimming the tree
When and as I see myself expecting my process of change to move as the speed in which I've become accustomed to in my mind as quantum fast, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that through my conditioning to participate/accept my mind as how it is and that it's 'just the way it is', I have programmed myself to not be able to walk in real time, as breath by breath, as the physical reality indicate physical time moves slow, steady and surely. I commit myself to align myself to real time as the natural time of breath by breath and so re-programming myself to not expect instant results as the McDonald's style gratification and instead walk with myself moment to moment, breath by breath, point by point, day by day - staying gently yet directive with myself as the process of getting to know myself and changing the nature I've created
Featured Artwork By: Marlen Vargas Del Razo
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