247: The Mental Me Won't Try New Things
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as incapable of following through with ideas I have as opportunities I can give to myself in moments where I will have an idea to do something, but instead just accept the thoughts I have about me, about what I am limited to and accept at face value the back chats that tell me "don't do it" instead of stopping and questioning this inner voice of me that says "this is not possible for you" as I see/realize/understand that in such moments I am not accepting and allowing myself to see what I am actually capable of but instead trusting this 'inner me' to stay the exact same way I have always been - which is secluded to a few tasks here and there that I am comfortable with, that I have established myself as able to do through pushing through 'those resistances' but not new resistances as I also see/realize/understand that this 'inner me' as back chats that tell me "you cannot possibly do this" with all the reasons as to why, are another form of resistance, resisting to look beyond what I am telling myself to see what I am actually saying to myself about me in relation to the ideas that I have that I might like to do, that I see would support me or others or that would challenge me within certain areas that I see I can specify and perfect still as a new skill
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, within having an idea that I might like to do or that I see would be cool and supportive for me to do, to automatically react to it as thinking "no possible way" and then justify all the reasons as to why these back chats are right instead of looking at the practical reality of such a moment - whether I can actually implement the idea, how it would work, how much time would I require to complete such a task or idea, what would I need in order to get it done - instead of just accepting the back chats without investigating WHY I 'think' I cannot do it - find out for real if I can or not in no longer limiting myself in my process and in my life thinking I cannot expand myself in ways which I have not yet
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear trying new things and ideas I have that I would like to do or see would be a cool thing to do for myself as self support and self development within thinking that I might fail or it might not work out and within this, giving up before I even try and thus keeping myself stuck in an experience of 'never knowing' and not realizing that if I don't even try I will not get anywhere and here I realize I no longer want to live a life where I give up before I begin, especially if fear of failing or something being difficult as I have seen/realize/understood that with self will, self patience and persistence, walking slowing but surely, one is able to move past any walls one create within oneself and so here a moment where I have an idea of something I would like to do or see would be cool to do - instead of remaining behind my walls of fear of a challenge, realize that it is another wall that must come down, that can come down - I simply must be willing to bring it down and thus walk through it and so
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear walking through the various resistances I see come up throughout my day in relation to things or ideas that I would like to try out but instead fear it or rather fear myself within it, as these back chats of "I cannot do this" are actually a self definition that I will not be good at it or it will not work for me or I will not succeed and thus
I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to define myself in such a way where I do not allow myself to expand but instead stay stuck in a moment of 'who I've always been' and just accepting this as the 'way I am' as what I am comfortable with instead of realizing that changing and moving and expanding myself within who I am and what I am capable of might be difficult at first or might be a challenge but this is nothing to fear - it's only the fear of it I am fearing and so
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear and allow it to stop me from investigating ideas I have that I would like to try, investigate how it would work in reality, what it would require and thus determine if it could actually work realizing that the ideas I have that I would like to try out does not take a genius or any kind of special being, all it takes is my expression and my willingness to do the work - to just do it actually - to physically move myself in physical reality to implement and bring to life the ideas that I have
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not investigate the ideas that I have in my mind and trust the automatic self definitions of 'it wont work' instead of realizing I have never tried and until I do I cannot possibly know if it will or will not and unless I do it, I wont know if I can so I must be willing to do it, to tell myself I can and then do it to thus prove, FOR REAL, whether the ideas I have will work or not instead of trusting the mental me that exists in fear in thinking I am not capable of implementing the ideas I have according to how I see myself in relation to them
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist trying new things
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to remain comfortable in the space I have created as myself as how I define myself as what I am capable of or able to do instead of realizing the gift we have in this life to push ourselves beyond what we have accepted of ourselves and so when a moment of an idea presents itself that I see would be cool for me as support and development within skills that are practical - I stop and I breathe and I allow myself to look at the point in self honestly and see whether it's practical or possible without trusting any reactions as back chats within my mind that I use to simply justify why I cannot do it without any real good reason besides fear and resistance
I commit myself to try things I have never tried before, as the ideas I have of things I would like to do, before giving into the resistance and the idea that "I cant"
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to always consider practical, physical reality in the context of the ideas I have and from here determine whether it's actually possible before trusting the inner me when I say to myself "It wont work" - instead I investigate all things, and keep that which is good - that which is real - that which is possible and thus move myself physically to bring my ideas to life, to apply myself within/as the ideas that I have, give myself a try, allow myself to do it to see for myself, without assuming, whether I can or not, if it will work or not and thus knowing for real
I commit myself to realize that resistance comes in various forms and thus my responsibility to determine whether they are valid or not and so I commit myself as well to stop and question myself any time I see myself telling myself "I cant do this" or "this wont work" instead I see for myself in real time physical reality and not simply accept myself, as the mental me in the form of back chats, within the limited space of the mind
I commit myself to live in/as this physical reality and to expand myself into trying new things, to pushing myself to apply new skills, realizing that unless I challenge myself, I will always remain 'where I am' as the limited version of me that accepts me as capable of some things and not others and instead I commit myself to gift myself with the ability to try it, to go for it, to test out the ideas I have, to give myself the opportunity of self development and self perfection in creating myself in ways that I would like instead of accepting myself as ways I've programmed myself to be in thinking I cannot do this or I cannot do that
I commit myself to push through the initial stages of uncomfortability I might experience when I try something new or when I am moving myself to go beyond that which I have accepted of myself in realizing that change might be difficult or challenging at first, but that is the nature of changing our nature and so as I move myself and push myself it becomes easier and easier until only I remain as the self directive and self moved being I see/realize/understand I can actually live here, in/as breath, in/as this life
I commit myself to stop existing in the mind as ideas and instead live as a physical being in physical reality here
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