24 March 2013

129 - Part 8: Correcting the Reactions

This is a continuation of:
Day 122 - Walking through a Moment of Irritation part 1
Day 123 - Memories Fueling Reactions part 2
Day 124 - Part 3: A Moment filled with Many Dimensions
Day 125 - Part 4: Forgiving the Voices in my Head
Day 126 - Part 5: Correcting the Voices in my Head
Day 127 - Part 6: Forgiving and Correcting the Imagination
Day 128 - Part 7: Forgiveness for being a Reactive Robot

And so we continue with the corrective application and commitment statements for the reactions I allowed to influence me in a moment, instead of being here, as the directive principle of who I am and to support myself in changing myself when/if these situations arise again.

When and as I see myself reacting in moments to/towards A based on her words or her physical movements, I stop and I breathe and I do not allow the reaction to consume me or direct me in such a moment as I see/realize/understand that the reaction is based on past memories of experiences with A and within this I am separating myself from her, from myself, from the moment in allowing memories to influence myself in that moment and so I commit myself to stop reactions as they arise, breathe and flag such a point to investigate where the reaction is coming from, as I have also seen/realized/understood that reactions are according to a judgment or opinion I have about A and so I commit myself to investigate the point that is directing me to react to A with the tool of writing and instead take responsibility for what I am allowing to influence me in such a moment instead of being here, breathing and interacting with A as my equal, without the direction of memories or past experiences or ideas about her.

When and as I see myself changing myself and my behavior in a moment with A, I stop and I breathe and I bring myself back to me here, without the influence of the mind, as I see/realize/understand that to allow the mind as memories to direct and influence me in the past, is to give up my power/authority of who I am in each moment here and so I commit myself to stop enslaving myself to the mind of memories and instead release myself from the control I have placed over myself through/as my mind by seeing what 'triggered' the reaction within me, what was it I participating within that moment to allow such reactions to arise and thus sort out this point that I am holding onto through allowing it to trigger me into moments of reactions and instead allow myself to stand unconditionally here, in each moment, as each breath, without allowing the past to direct me in my interaction/relationship with A, I commit myself to let go of the past and instead live life here as the present it is

When and as I see myself being triggered into a reaction of anger/irritation/annoyance/blame/judgment to/towards A, I stop and I breathe and I bring myself back here, to the moment as the physical and out of the mind as to no longer accept and allow the trigger to carry me 'down the rabbits hole', more into the mind as participating in more back chats and reactions and instead flag this moment, the words, the physical behavior that was the trigger point that I see/realize/understand sends me into moments of abdicating my responsibility and separating myself from myself and from another through projecting blame unto another as the one responsible for me in a moment and so I commit myself to flag these moments that trigger me into reaction, so later, for myself, I can write out what it is that I reacted to, what lies behind, within my mind, as the cause of me allowing myself to react, and to take responsibility for this automation I have set up for myself as an instruction manual for moments with A where depending on how she acts/what she says, I will act accordingly and so I commit myself to stop this process and recreate myself to be free and clear and unconditionally standing here as who I am as life in/as each moment with her

Cool - so we are making progress through this moment. Interesting how much is actually going on within self, the starting point for the 'way we are' in moments, and if we dare to have a self honest look, can see so much more of ourselves than what we were first aware of. So to be continued...

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