17 March 2013

126 - Part 5: Correcting the Voices in my Head

This is a continuation of:
Day 122 - Walking through a Moment of Irritation part 1
Day 123 - Memories Fueling Reactions part 2
Day 124 - Part 3: A Moment filled with Many Dimensions
Day 125 - Part 4: Forgiving the Voices in my Head

Here the Self Corrective Statements and Self Commitment Statements for the back chats dimensions identified in the previous blog:

When and as I see myself participating in the automatic reaction of back chats in my mind, where I begin conversing with myself about a situation or another, I stop and I breathe, bringing myself out of my mind and back here into/as reality that is real as the physical and no longer accept and allow the participation within back chats/internal conversations as I see/realize/understand that to 'back chat' within my mind is in separation of what is actually real and is always within the nature of blame, judgment and not considering another as my equal and thus I commit myself to push myself to stop my participation as the acceptance and allowance of back chats/internal conversations regarding an event or situation and of others as being responsible for who I am, my interactions with others and within my life - to always remain 'here' as what is real, with/as this physical reality and to no longer separate myself into the alternate reality of/as the mind

When and as I see myself reacting to A asking me to do a task for her or just a task in general, I stop and I breathe and I look within self honesty as the decision to do so or not and decide whether or not I am able to practical do it or not as I see/realize/understand that to react to A asking me to do something based on past memories and resentments, is to limit myself within what I am able/capable of doing in the present moment and so I commit myself to not react to A asking me to do something, but to instead decide whether or not I am practically able to, as considering the time I have in my day or in that moment, and to instead decide within self honesty whether I can or not and thus I commit myself to no longer be influenced/directed to not do something A asks me to do simply because I am reacting to memories and resentments and instead stand as the directive principle of deciding whether I am able to do the task or not

When and as I see myself blaming A, within the back chat/internal reality within my mind of, for asking me to do something for her, I stop and I breathe and bring myself back to the physical in realizing that my reaction is based on past memories/experiences with A wherein I reacted to her before asking me to do something and so instead of allowing these memories and past experiences that I allowed become resentment direct me to continue reacting and not at all changing, I instead stop and breathe and decide within self honesty whether I am practically, physically able to do the task or not and let it be, to no longer allow something that I reacted to in the past continue to influence me in my life,  but to instead stand within myself as the directive principle in choosing what I will be/who I will be in this life

When and as I see myself becoming annoyed as the back chats/internal conversations within my mind, towards A for asking me to do something for her, I stop and I breathe and take responsibility of taking the irritation back to myself, as I see/realize/understand that I AM the one Accepting and Allowing the irritation within me, and thus accepting and allowing irritation to be who I am, instead of realizing that it's not about 'her', it's about 'me' and so I, in such a moment, breathe and do not allow myself to blame another for the way I am experiencing myself, such as annoyance or irritation and instead take directive principle to stop the feelings that I am generating through memories and past experiences and instead remain stable here, in self honesty as breath to no longer blame another for the way I accept myself to feel

When and as I see myself projecting the experience of 'being in the way' onto A, I stop and I breathe and bring myself back to myself as the physical/my body as I see/realize/understand that to define/perceive another within separation of me is to abdicate the self responsibility I have towards myself as I can clearly see within self honesty that it was me that always felt 'in the way' and so instead of putting this responsibility onto another or A, I bring it back to myself within taking responsibility for myself and no longer allow myself to suppress this experience and instead investigate where this came from, it's origin point in my life where I felt "in the way" as I see/realize/understand that it's throughout my life that I have created who I am and so I commit myself to investigate my life, my experiences, my self definitions and my acceptances and allowances of who I am within realizing that is the only way to actual change and to stop the enslavement of 'something/someone else' being the blame, as I see there is no power in giving another the responsibility I have within myself

When and as I see myself participating in the back chats of my mind as blaming another or judging another for their physical movements as defining them as unable to 'stand still' and believe 'they need something to do', I stop and I breathe and bring myself back here, back to myself with/as my physical body and realize that I have already, within self honesty  seen this is a self experience that I have accepted and allowed within myself, of not being able to simply 'be here' and to instead believe I 'need' to move myself physically as a way to occupy myself and distract myself from the underlying sense of anxiety I experience and have experienced throughout my life and thus I commit myself to no longer projecting myself unto another and instead see the gift they present as the mirror of who I am and thus I further commit myself to stand responsible for myself in what I see in self honesty, as such being unable to 'be here' without the 'need' to move physically as a way to suppress the anxiety I accept and allow, with writing and self forgiveness  to get down to the root of this personality character that I give permission to direct me in moments of my life, to be able to than forgive the self-definitions and beliefs and to be able to free myself as being able to be here, no matter where I am or with whom I'm with, I remain stable, yesterday, today and tomorrow, I am here

When and as I see myself participating in back chats/internal conversations as the nature of expecting A to be a certain way with me or to do certain things for me, I stop and I breathe and I bring myself back to the physical reality within realizing that one must consider the physical reality and what is practically possible for themselves and thus I commit myself to stop expecting something from A and instead realize that she requires to see within herself her own self honesty of what she is able to do, considering the physical reality, money, time... all these physical points the required to be seen in order to make a decision that is in fact best for self and best for all

When and as I see myself participating in back chats regarding A and judging her as having a 'bad attitude' - I stop and I breathe and bring myself back to self responsibility within realizing that it's not 'her' I am seeing, it is me as my mind, as I am the one with the 'bad attitude' in such a moment and so as I see/realize/understand that to judge another within my mind is an act of separation, separating myself from me in the moment as who I am accepting and allowing myself to be and so I commit myself to no longer project myself unto others and always take self responsibility in moments to no longer allow back chats to influence/direct me away from standing self responsible for who I am in each moment

When and as I see myself participating in the energy/war/game of expressing an "attitude" within the nature of spite to/towards another, within justifying that they are doing it to my and thus I can do it to them, I stop and I breathe and bring myself back to the realization that this is NOT something I will accept/allow within/as myself as I see/realize/understand the game that is being played and realize there is never a winner, only self abuse and abuse of another within limitation and separation based on defining ourselves in separation of each other and so I commit myself to stop the 'eye for an eye' game, as I realize this makes one blind - blind to the reality that the war only exists because one participate in it and so I commit myself to no longer participate in expressing an attitude within/as the nature of spite, as I see/realize/understand that this is also influenced by the past resentments and memories and so instead I commit myself to stand clear, here, as/with each breath to no longer be directed but to instead decide who/how I will express myself as, within considering another as my equal and thus no longer blaming and instead being self responsible for myself in each moment

When and as I see myself participating in the back chats/internal conversations as judgments towards A in thinking she views her children as slaves - I stop and I breathe and bring myself back to the realization that I have allowed this reaction as being a victim to her go too far, and so I stop, I breathe and slow myself down to no longer blame her and instead realize that I agreed to help her do things when she asked, and so I was not being direct with her or myself in the moments when I did not want to and instead did, but suppressed it into/as anger/resentments towards A, and so I commit myself to no longer allow myself to abdicate my responsibility within the creation of the relationship I have with A where I judge her as using me as her slave and instead stand responsible within my participation and to investigate within myself all points wherein I have attempted to not be responsible through/as blaming another for the way that I experience myself, to no longer accept this of myself as I see/realize/understand that it is dishonest and abuse of myself and another as life

When and as I see myself participating in a reaction towards A, I stop and I breathe and I push myself to investigate where this reaction is coming from, what triggered it, how I define her and myself within such a situation and to take responsibility within myself for who I am in those moments, as I see/realize/understand that to allow past memories to influence and direct me is deliberately giving my power and authority away, in separation of me here, and so I instead commit myself to bring the point back to myself, investigate it, see where it is coming from and correct it to no longer express judgment, blame, victimization and abdication of responsibility - I commit myself to become responsible for myself in each and every moment, to become the directive principle of myself in/as each moment and to no longer allow suppressed resentments/anger and memories direct me in my life, instead I use them to see who I was to be able to thus change who I am to be that which supports me to live to my utmost potential

In the next blog, I will apply self forgiveness for the other dimensions identified in this moment as well as their corrective and commitment statements.




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