Kristina's Journey to Life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to another when they said, “they are bringing cats in because they want attention", as defensive towards his statement I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I have to defend myself when another said, “they want attention” as the reason they were bringing in mice and so within this taking this statement personal, in beliving my character was being attacked and thus believe I have to ‘protect and defend’ my character I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a character in which I have to defend I forgive myself that I have not yet allowed myself to realize that all characters are a false sense of self that does not serve what is best for all and only serves self interest as a way to define myself in separation from others and life here I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the character of “I am good to my ca...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to another when they started to communicate with me When and as I see myself reacting to another for communicating with me – I stop and breathe and remain here, commiting myself to no longer allow myself to react to another – yet simply stand clear in communicating with them as my equals I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect another to tell me what it is they want from me they start communicating with me When and as I see myself expecting another to tell me what they want or why they are communicating with me – I stop and I breathe, and realize no purpose or reason is required, and simply allow myself to breathe, being here, equal and one with/as them and with/as the communication being expressed and thus I commit myself to stand clear within myself while communicating with others – to breathe here, being here, with others and as the expression of communication I forgive myself that I...

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to seek energy from conflict in my life with another I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to become possessed by energy as experience of irritation and within this extert this onto others as a way to limit them within themselves to be equal in my experience I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become irritated by others and attempt to have power and control over them through exterting my irritation onto them until they are and then feel satisfied with myself and thus reap the reward of energy in a positive surge within myself for the idea that i have gained power and control I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to become irritated by others in my reality based on thoughts of judgments about them and how they live I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be in constant judgment of others in my reality within my mind as thoughts and back chat...

Observing my behavior and the patterns I live out day to day... I can see I’m still ashamed of myself and my mind. So – a point of separation – because within my fear of exposing myself to me as the mind, and so others as me as the mind – I am separating myself from it. Beliving I am superior to it and not realizing – IT IS ME. I realize it is not who I am really – yet it is how I have created myself as the decision of ’who I am’ through acceptance and allowance. That is the power I have as creator – I have created myself as something I am ashamed of. So – time to take responsibility for myself as creator/creation. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing myself as the mind as the thoughts and feelings and emotions and experiences I allow and accept within myself, through daily writing, self forgiveness and self corrective application I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to fear myself as the mind through accepting and allowing re...

I have been possessed with fear of what is going on with another. They are spending a lot of time with another being – and they are not the most stable and so fear they are influencing this person to live the same. Then someone said to me that this person has drug problem – this I have not seen – yet allowed this to creep in and exist as fear within me I realize I have no control over another or what they do – and maybe I am somehow abdicating my self seeing within worrying about ANOTHER and what THEY are doing – instead of myself and what I am doing RED FLAG: Within walking the Agreement Course of the Desteni I Process - I have been supported within seeing that any time I write "maybe this is" or "perhaps I am" or "I might be", in how I have written it above, "maybe I am somehow abdicating myself..." - is always indicating, yes that is the Point - and to instead of "maybe walking around the point not going directly into it but walking...

This is a continuation of my previous Journey to Life Blog, read for context. I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to exist within back chat about C and the dog and his current living condition – instead of applying solution that are best for him and all as well I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that this condition of blaming within the mind about a situation, instead of LIVING solutions that are best for all in the situation – is the current accepted nature of Humanity – where we blame and project ourselves onto everything and all things separate from us without taken any self responsibility and so within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perpetuate the current condition of the world wherein I exist within the Mind about a problem and not live a solution to stop the dishonesty, as I blame and project myself onto others, instead of BEING THE CHANGE I WISH TO SEE IN THIS WORLD. I forgive myse...

Ever heard this great and almighty statement of Philosophy, ">"I am able to think, therefore I exist." Or in the form I most heard it throughout my life, "I think, therefor I am." This is the easiest LIE we have told ourselves.. have a look, when you were born into this world, as a baby emerging from the darkness... within you existed NO THOUGHT. You were just here. Yes, we might claim to THINK that babies think, but that is just OUR projection of our enslavement to the Mind of Thoughts onto our children. Thoughts are taught. The world, as shown above, has accepted themselves as a thinking machine, where we exist in separation of who we are as Life in fact, as the body, as the breath... as we can see we do not even now how our body functions - it functions for us, so from this perspective we have made ourselves inferior to Life; Life that is Real/Here/Physical. And because of our acceptance of our EXISTENCE within the alternate reality of the Mind ...

I was just going through some pictures C… and at the end of the roll – there were many pictures of her dog. I fell guilty after seeing them, as I have defined his life as something that could be better. I think he doesn’t get enough attention and doesn’t get out enough and feels alone. I fear I have created an unhappy dog as I put him in the care of someone that abuses animals.. and now he is aggressive towards people. The guilt also that I could do more for him – but I don’t, as I feel busy all the time and that I have barely any time to take care of myself. I feel like C has given up on him.. and she doesn’t give him any attention. He just sits in his house. There are moments I wished that I did not have cats, as he is quick to attack them – and so I would then take him and care for him. Yet I know it’s quite a responsibility – and there is anger towards C for taking him in/on and not living up to it. Not giving him a quality life. I realize this are all projections of myself.. and...

"A man's goodness is truly measured by what he is, not what he does."- Deepak Chopra First off, Deepak Chopra - I would like to ask you... Does "who you are" define what you do? Let's play around a bit with this... A man rapes a child. Many say, "I'm surprised.. I would never think he would do that.. he seemed like a "good man" --Does this then justify the actions of rape? Is he then no longer held accountable for his actions - because some view him as a "good man"?? This statement by Deepak Chopra allows too much room for one to not take any self responsibility for their actions. It is saying, "Don't see how you live or what you do or do not do in this world - just look at "who you are" in this world as a way to define yourself. So the many ego maniacs that run this world are free to then justify hoarding all the wealth of the world from the majority, as actions they live everyday, and then claim, ...

Today I was working on a Lesson within the Agreement Course I am walking within the Desteni I Process - and within this lesson, I saw how much I have allowed myself to be 'moved by energy'. Obviously - this is the process we are walking.. to stop allowing energy to move us as we can clearly see this implies something is having to move us - live for us, decide for us, instead of taking self responsibility to move ourselves, direct ourselves, to Live! So this is a general point I am going to address within this blog of Journey to Life - allowing energy to move me instead of me moving myself I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be moved by energy I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to define myself 'as energy' and thus allow it to move me instead of me moving me I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to generate energy within myself through the act of thinking, wherein I generate emotions and feelings a...

Writing: Recently I have been experiencing the desire/want to give up. I have taken a lot of responsibilities on within my world and within myself – and while I was supporting myself to be effective in each application of ‘getting things done’ – I found myself getting behind and feeling like ‘it’s too much’ I just want to give up. Now this was not an overwhelming experience – yet I saw the point arise within myself as my back chat of, “this is just too much, I want to give up” and within this the thoughts about leaving town for a ‘break’ and wanting to change the responsibilities I have taken on so that I do not have ‘so much’ to do. I did not necessarily allow this to direct me within actually physical changing anything – yet the experience was still there and within that allowed it to direct me within ‘slowing’ down my wiliness to do the things necessary to be done. So putting them off and really having to force myself through them with the most excruciating pain I could self create...

What I have seen throughout my life - and more recently in the past few years - is just how much I think. How there is a thought for every moment of every day. Whether it's a reaction as back chat where I comment on a person, place or thing, or a memory where I transport myself back into time into an experience where I re-play the scene to experience the character I starred as - or into future projection of how I would like to act in ways that get me the most acceptance and validation for the character I decide to suit up in that moment. Yet what is happening in these moments of playing a character - is I am accepting myself as just that - a character I am playing - a role I am fitting into - a structure I am a pillar for for myself and others - to exist in an illusion that we are just creating. And so the key here - WE ARE CREATING. We have not even realized we have created this whole game we are playing - all the roles we accept of ourselves, "I am this.. I am that... I ...

New month – New commitment. Writing what is here. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow the experience I create through the mind such as back chats, feelings and emotions to direct me within my world wherein I allow them to ‘overcome’ me and within this fall within instability through not applying the consistant applications that stabilize me and my living such as breathing, writing, self forgiveness, and self corrective statements I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that when I do not direct myself within breathing, writing, self forgiveness, self corrective application – then I am allowing the thoughts and experiences of myself within my life to influence and direct me – as I havent given the direction to myself and thus I am giving the directive will away I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within the cycle of allowing thoughts to accumulate into experiences of feelings and emotions where I become over...