I noticed one being's blog and then another's, connected these two blogs together and according to how I saw/defined them, from there decided I 'wanted' to write a blog.
Now, let's take it back a couple hours ago, I had not decided yet if I was going to place/write a blog tonight. I had written and published one earlier in the day, and that one was actually my blog from yesterday - so technically today is a new day and thus a new blog. But as I was doing my work this evening, I saw that I was doing a lot of reading, and it was getting late and while considering the different points I could write about - ultimately I decided I would not write a blog.
One of the points I was considering to write about is this experience I am seeing within me in my ethics class. I am only into week two of the semester, and we've only met three times for class. I am finding that I very much enjoy the discussions and the considerations that are taking place - the material and the overall concepts of 'ethics'. It is a philosophy course, which I have not yet taken, and so I am in a whole new world in terms of the material I am learning about.
I am intrigued and curious about the information and ideas within it - yet within that there is a vastness of 'blankness'. For instance, each question my professor ask or each topic or idea that is brought up - I go into this point of "wtf - I have no idea - who would I be..." and within it there is this point of "what about the principles I have been learning about in the last three and a half years - the simplistic guiding principles that have allowed me to actually give myself direction within my life and actually get to know myself." So there is like this grasping sensation of trying to reach for these principles and realizations that I have come to of 'what is best for all' and 'equality and oneness' and 'self honesty' when looking at, reflecting and examining the material we have so far covered in the course. Yet what I see is that instead of standing/seeing within this principles, I tend to go into the extreme mind-fuck that philosophy and ethics as a subject has become. It's like talking in circles in attempting to determine 'what is right' and 'what is wrong' and all based within theories and reasoning created throughout time - by men that are simply products of our current world systems. There is not actual solutions wanting to be considered or made, but just stroking the mind's ego of throwing ideas back and forth in determining 'who is right' and 'who is wrong' without any real actual application that has an effect in our world that could be best for all.
Ok - so the POINT that I am trying to bring out/together here is that this IS the point that I saw as what moved within myself while seeing the two blogs - the REASON I wanted to and changed my mind in deciding to do a blog, as well as the point that I have been 'missing' in seeing within my ethics course that cause this "I am missing something - how can I comprehend such points or bring into 'practical reality as what is best for all' context"...... wait for it.... is... The STARTING POINT.
It's all about the starting point. That moment - that instance within ourselves where, because of whatever REASON - we make the decision to move/speak/share/act/live. The origin. The Source. The starting point from which we accept and allow who we are and thus what flows/emerge from/as us.
The starting point. Ahh. It's like here it is - now I am comfortable in seeing this point because I was not actually seeing it. It fits. THE piece that fits into the puzzle I was looking at that now reveals to me something I can actually look at, investigate, consider, analyze and reflect and thus redefine into terms that is best for all.
So tonight with the blogs I was seeing, BeCAUSE of what I saw in relation to two blogs - as my own triggers, I went into an internal experience/reactions/back chats and from there, made the decision to write a blog. It was not out of self honesty. It was actually out of self dishonesty. Yet - within that 'decision' as the 'starting point' for writing a blog tonight - I saw this starting point 'point'. I saw how from that starting point of separation, of not actually, me, here, being the decision AS the starting point for/as self as SELF MOVE-ME-nt to write my blog, the starting point revealed itself, I revealed to myself who I was, in that moment, as the starting point and thus allowed myself to see the point I was not before allowing myself to see. It was like seeing the moment of creation - where that moment as the decision of 'from here I will do this" creates an outflow of who I will be, how I will proceed and from that, what I produce.
And then I saw the connection to the ethics course, how in ethics to determine 'what is right' or 'what is wrong' can simply be assessed form the perspective/starting point of "What is Best for ALL?" "Do Unto Another as You would Have Done unto You" "Give to Another what You would Like to Receive" "Equality and Oneness" - all within the consideration/context of PHYSICAL reality.That is what is missing from philosophy and ethics.
And from this point of realization - the starting point IS the determining factor of what we create/accept/allow/support and ultimately manifest in/as our world - made the decision to open it up.
So this is quite a cool point I would say, as even in consideration of writing a blog about the 'ethics experience' I have been having - within looking at that, I went into self judgments as not being 'clear' on what I was seeing, and from that starting point - made the decision to NOT write a blog. Within the starting point that "I am not good enough to take on such a point in relation to ethics - it's too intellectual - it's too vast"
So see how we accept and allow outside and inside factors influence us within who we are, what we do or what we don't do.
In both cases - I was allowing a reaction to myself and to what is in my reality decide, determine and sway me to one decision or the other - revealing I am only a slave. A slave to my own limitations as self definitions. A slave to my reactions. A slave to my beliefs, my values, my perceptions, my ideas, my emotions, my thoughts, my feelings, all things that have been programmed into and as me as I am also a product of this World, without ever considering actual physical reality and who I AM as an actual physical being. I am not these ideas within my mind or self definitions. I am also not unable to understand ethics as a study that is currently here. I have the skills and tools and resources to push myself beyond the limitations I place on me and myself alone - and I have PRINCIPLES, that within the starting point of the decisions I make within myself and within my life, can create an outflow as me and as my world to be that which is best for all.
Grateful to see this and for myself to writing it out.
Will go into self forgiveness in the post to follow.
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