17 December 2012

Day 99 - Using Judge-Me-nt as Justification to Not Change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate myself for what I’ve done in my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear never being able to forgive myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear never being able to let go of what I’ve done in my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for what I have been in my life and what I’ve done and within this judgment believe I do not deserve to be forgiven

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I do not deserve to forgive myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate who I have been in my life

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to live in such ways where I accept myself to hate myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for lying to other people

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I have to lie to other people

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that lying to others is in fact lying to myself and thus I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to lie to myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for stealing from other people

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I have to steal from other people

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that stealing from others is in fact stealing from myself and thus I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to steal from myself

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for manipulating other people with my words to get them to react in ways that I want

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play games with other people in an attempt to be the winner

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others finding out about this and judging me as I have judged myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge who I have been in this life and within this believe I will never be able to forgive myself for it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others not forgiving me for who I have been instead of realizing only I can forgive myself for who I have been as it was through and as my own acceptance and allowance have I become the person I am/was

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a pattern that I see does not support me and believe I am not able to stop and change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself because I define myself and my life as a failure

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a perpetual state of self hate as a way to keep myself enslaved

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I tell myself as thoughts that I am a bad person, then I will change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use fear within myself to motivate myself to change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use self abuse as self hate as negative thoughts to keep me busy and limited within my own self enslavement and as an excuse and back door to not stop and stand up and no longer accept this of and as myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as so fucked up that I will never be able to change – that I don’t trust myself to change and within this I forgive myself that i Have accepted and allowed myself to use these self definition as an excuse to not change - to not stand up and to not assert my self directive power to no longer accept and allow such abuse and bullshit within and as myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and judge myself as the worst being in existence that I will never be able to live forgiveness

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am too fucked up to change

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to apply the tools of self correction, as breathing and writing and self forgiveness and self correction and self commitment, within my daily life to once and for all support myself to change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in back chat of diminishing self talk that talks shit to myself as a way to abuse myself as means to justify my in action and perceived inability to change, instead of utilizing the tools I have and have seen are effective in stopping the self deception as I realize all experiences are self created and thus I stop my creation and redefine who I am as a living, breathing being, no more excuse, no more justification, only the decision to be who I am able to be in consideration of what is best for all in each moment I have here

When and as I see myself participating in the back door within my mind of self abuse as self talking self hate - I stop and I breathe and I bring myself back to the realization that this is simply self manipulation and a reason to not stand up and stop this within and as myself and thus I commit myself to stop myself, to stop all thoughts, to breathe here in self honesty and to direct all experiences within myself with writing, self forgiveness, and self corrective statement/commitments to no longer accept the lesser, diminished version of myself and commit myself to assert myself as the directive principle of me in every moment as the awareness of who I am as life in living principles within the physical laws of equality and oneness, committing myself to always bringing all points back to myself, always taking self responsibility for myself and my creation and no longer accepting myself as a victim to who I have been and who I have become but gift myself the ability to change, once and for all

I commit myself to expose how each individual is responsible for their creation equal and one as all within and as this world

I commit myself to expose how self bullying and self hate is self deceptive in the image of self victimization - I commit myself to expose how this is abuse of life

I commit myself to always support myself to see within self honesty who I am in each moment, as each thought, with each word, in each action to always clear my starting point for existing to be that which is best for all within and as equality and oneness

I commit myself to realizing and thus living self forgiveness and a living statement of who I am here

I commit myself to support all who dare to hear that self forgiveness is the only real forgiveness in this existence

I commit myself to support myself to forgive myself for that which I have created as myself equal and one with/as this world

I commit myself to changing myself, practically, physically, with daily self investigation, self honest with self writing, self forgiveness, self commitment statements and self corrective application to assert myself of the directive principle of myself and no longer accept myself as a victim to myself or my life - I take responsibility for who I have been and who I am currently and I take responsibility in changing myself - as I have proven to myself it is possible and thus I commit myself to walk the journey to life