Tonight while I am wanting to go to bed - I have this point within me of "I have to get this done" as well a resistance to completing it. This 'it' is writing here. And what I see within the point of either going to bed and doing a blog tomorrow vs getting one done tonight - is this point of like I am in a race. Not wanting to skip a day because that will get me 'behind' - and wanting to be 'in the lead'.
What a fuck Up - Life is Not a Race. This Process of EQUALITY is not a race. I stop this Here.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define life as a race -wherein I have to be 'ahead of the game'
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within the starting point of competition - where I have to be better, be more, be ahead and be the example - wherein I separate myself from all as me not even realizing this point and process is about Equality - Equalizing myself as All within realizing we are in fact all equal and only through the Mind we attempt to be more then life, better then life, ahead of life - thus completely missing the point of Life
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attempt to be 'more then life' through racing through life as it is a game I have to win
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define life as something I have to be 'good at' wherein I can get praise and be seen as special through others
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to race through life in the attempt to 'get somewhere' faster then another - wherein then I can claim to win and being better as I got there first
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to disregard myself as Life as the breathe - wherein I have the ability to sloooow myself down and once and for all exist in the present moment - cherishing myself as every breath I am/have and thus being able to walk within myself and my world with effectiveness as I realize that when I breathe - I see and when I see I am able to direct
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I have to be better then others - to be more then others - to get somewhere sooner then others
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself as each moment through believing life is about speed and the faster I get something done - the better I am, instead of alloiwng myself to slow down within every breathe - in every moment where I am then allowing myself to actually Live Life as me - seeing myself/my reality in every moment - cherishing myself and my reality and others in every moment - becoming intimate with Life as each breath where I am not speeding to a destination as I realize there is no where to go - there is only what is Here
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to beleive there is something separate and outside of Here
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from myself as Life Here
I commit myself to slow myself - to breathe in every moment - to slow down myself within time wherein I am able to effectively see in each moment who I am and what I am allowing/participating within wherein I realize this is where I have the authority to see what required to be corrected - to be change as within the slowing down of myself as time as the breathe - I see within clarity - every movement, every thought and thus it's committing myself to self responsibility - wherein I take responsibility for every moment that I am here
I commit myself to stop competition within myself as I realize LIfe is not a race - and there is no where to go - there is nothing to win. I am simply here and thus I commit myself to being here/seeing here/breathing here in equality where I get back to this reality and stop the rushing of the mind that believes I have to go somewhere or win something.
I commit myself to stop the desire to be more then life, to be better then life, to be ahead of life - as I realize I am only attempting to be more than/better than/ahead of myself and thus I see how this separates myself from myself here as myself and all as me
I commit myself to gift to myself each present moment - wherein I am able to see myself clearly and thus support myself to change effectively
I commit myself to stop abusing myself as life through ideas of life being a game - wherein I have a destination I must get to as fast as I can - I realize there is no where to go - there is only to be Here, honroing myself as Life and thus stopping the self abuse
When and as I see myself attempting to compete with others through defining life as a game wherein I have to be more, get ahead - I stop and I breathe and allow myself to realize all is me - and thus I stop trying to get ahead of myself and allow myself to be here with myself in every moment - cherishing every breath that allows me to live
When and as I see myself defining myself as needing to be ahead of others/better then others - I stop and I breathe - bringing myself back to the awareness that all is me and thus I am not able to become more than me, and so I let this idea go and allow myself to see myself Here as LIfe
When and as I see myself separating myself from myself as Life as each moment of Breath - I stop and I breathe - standing equal and one with/as Life as who I really am - as the Physical - and allow myself to honor each moment I am here as Life - stopping the race and starting to Live