Kristina's Journey to Life

03 September 2016

465: The Special Effects of Writing

In the last couple months, I have been making it a point to write everyday, or at least every couple days. Writing has been a consistent resistance I've experienced throughout my process, and well frankly it was causing consequences within myself, and so in my life. How you ask? Well with writing, it's a point of reflecting on who I am within my day to day living - introspecting and asking questions about why I do what I do, or where the thoughts I think come from - better understanding myself and how I function, and ultimately it's about taking self-responsibility for who I am.

I wasn't doing that. I was projecting a lot of blame, victimizing myself in relation to others and life circumstances, and essentially wallowing in self-pity. To me this was a consequence I was creating through not taking self-responsibility for myself through writing.

So I decided to start, and like I said, it's something I've been consistently working on the past couple of months. I noticed changes almost immediately. Much more stability within myself/my mind, and more clarity in seeing myself, my life, and those within it. Writing has a grounding effect, and I experienced myself back on my two feet - directly walking my process of self-change rather than allowing consequences to direct me.

One point that I noticed just the other day, that shows striking the effect writing can have on one's life is in relation to back chats.

What is back chats?

A back chat is basically the statements we make within our minds about someone, or about a situation - it's like the narrator within our mind making assumptions, accusations, and in my case, lot's and lot's of blame.

So this is what I noticed.... before I made the decision to start writing more consistently, I was experiencing a lot of back chat in relation to my partner, and how he exists within our environment. I would react to him not doing the dishes, or not putting them away... or for leaving a shirt on the couch. I was almost daily having back chats about the negligence of 'his behavior'. Though - since I started writing again, specifically within the starting point of taking SELF-responsibility... the back chats in relation to that particular point have completely vanished. I actually had forgot I was having those consistent back chats, until I remembered just the other day - noticing again what writing can do.

From my perspective - because I was busy taking responsibility for myself, which we have MORE than enough within our own minds to work with, I no longer had the time, or space to worry about what he was doing... because ultimately it's not my responsibility. My projected blame of him being neglectful and lazy in the house was simply me showing me that due to me not writing, or actively taking responsibility for myself as thoughts, words, and deeds, I was neglecting me, and really just being lazy about it. Writing doesn't take a lot of effort... only a decision to sit down and face yourself. And in doing so, the blame stopped, and self-understanding (which leads to understanding others) emerged.

So just wanted to share a little gem one can find in taking a step of self-support. With writing - in taking self-responsibility, the focus is removed from others, blame no longer exists, and self's responsibility stands as what actually matters. And so a reference for ourselves.... if we are constantly thinking about others, and what they are doing wrong, and how they are this, and that, and don't do this right, or questioning who they are and the decisions they make, it is CLEARLY indicating we are not taking self-responsibility.

So want to stop worrying and focusing so much about others? Start worrying and focusing on yourself... making sure that YOU are living to your utmost potential before you start blaming others for not living up to theirs.

Thanks for reading!











Featured Artwork By: Marlen Vargas Del Razo and Matti Freeman

The Journey to Lifers

Take Responsibility for what is HERE as this world, within AND without:

Desteni

DIP Lite Course (FREE)


DIP Pro


Eqafe (Self Perfecting interviews, books, music, etc)


For your Info:

Destonian Wiki

Equal Life Foundation

01 September 2016

464: People Will Talk

I recently had an incident with another at work wherein it triggered some fears, and reactions within me towards the idea that she was 'talking bad' about me to the other co-workers. Basically imagining her explaining a situation she had with me to others, and painting me in a bad light - or 'making me look bad' essentially.

What I realized within this was that my fear of her talking bad about me to others may in fact actually happen... after-all I do see the tendency of human behavior is to gossip, or talk about others behind their back. Especially if we have a moment with another where we have our own reactions towards them... we are very quick to go and tell others our story.

Though to react to this is useless because I have no control over others. I only have control over who I am, and through time, the impression of me that is real will stand and so it's not up to me to try and get others to like me, or to see me in a certain way, and prevent them from talking bad about me. I must show who I am through a living example... as my actions, behavior, and words give the impression, the actual reality of who I am.

So yes... people will probably gossip and talk negatively about me... that is a very real possibility, as I've seen it within myself, and in others. But that cannot phase me... that cannot define who I am. To care about that is to separate me from my own self-power which is within who I am and how I live.

So let them talk. I have no control over what 'they' do. My point of responsibility and focus is making sure I am not the one participating in the gossip... showing the example that there is another way to be that doesn't define someone based on one moment with them, and carry that past moment through our words of re-living our own discontent toward them as the behavior of gossip does. Gossip is an act of abdication - wherein we place responsibility onto another person, and essentially make them less than who we are within our own minds. It is no way to act, or treat another.

People will talk. That doesn't matter. Who I am in thought, word, and deed? That is what defines each individual.. that is what defines me. That is what matters.

So a little lesson in reflecting on my own fears of someone gossiping about me. I've participated in gossip in my life (hence the fear of another doing it to me). I still see others who participate in gossip - gossip currently is an accepted part of human behavior, and interaction. Though - I do not have to accept it within/as myself. And so that is where I stand - understanding that people may talk, but that does not define who I am; I do not have to fear it. And just as I would have done unto myself, I do not allow myself to define/belittle/bad mouth/judge others through gossip.

Stand in the face of this reality - and never allow it to move you from who you really are and from what is in fact best for all.

The Journey to Lifers

Take Responsibility for what is HERE as this world, within AND without:

Desteni

DIP Lite Course (FREE)


DIP Pro


Eqafe (Self Perfecting interviews, books, music, etc)


For your Info:

Destonian Wiki

Equal Life Foundation









04 July 2016

463: Thinking About it Only Gets you So Far...

Continuing from the previous blogs, the following are forgiveness statements, and corrections to be made when I see I am existing more in my mind, rather than in physical action to produce the change I would like to see. Practically assessing what it takes to make things happen, and putting the mind in it's proper place.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see change within my mind, as something that happens instantaneous, instead of practically assessing what it takes to create change, what physical actions are required, and the effort along with it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to throughout my life, think more about doing something, or changing something, rather than actually, physically doing it – within this, missing the key element of practical assessment in seeing what in real time I must do – the physical actions required to create or change that which I would like

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give more value to an idea or thought to create or change something, rather than the physical energy necessary to actually get it done, as the real value in that which physically manifests and creates change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, through the years of practicing positive thinking, and the law of attraction, condition myself to focus more on the ideas and thoughts in my head that I want to change or create, rather than the physical actions necessary to do so… the only element that actually creates it and brings something into being

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in a fantasy world within my head of what I would like to do, or be, or become, or create, or change, rather than living practically, in the real world where action produce results

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think what exists within my mind as ideas are more important than the actual physical work, as the physical labor, and physical movement to create or change something

I forgive myself that I have never allowed myself to consider or even question why things do not move in my reality… without realizing I must move things in my reality through my own physical movement and application. A blog does not get written by thinking about it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to squander the time I have through thinking more about things to do rather than just simply doing them

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to condition myself to only think, rather than act

I forgive myself that I have not given myself the opportunity to re-train myself, to re-condition myself to physically act and move to create and change things and myself through giving more value to the mind as imagination

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to consider the physical reality of my ideas… of assessing whether what I would like to create, or change, is actually practical in my current situation, and if so… mapping out the steps required to get it done… as this is the step-by-step solution to creating. Seeing what it takes to get where you want to go, or to create what you want to create, or change what you want to change… and then physically taking those steps. Space and time, slowly but surely, actions produce results

When and as I see myself focusing more on my mind’s imaginations and ideas of what I would like to change, or create, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that I have a tendency to think more than to act, missing the key element into what it means to be a creator, and to bring something into being… to actually bring it through into physical reality, which is through physical actions. I commit myself to ground myself out of the mind as thinking, and start practically assessing my goals, my wants, and my ideas of that which I would like to create and change… and to map out the steps necessary to do it thus here giving myself the real understanding of what is necessary to be done, and so the road ahead. I may not know how things turn out, though I can act as my guide, keeping myself remained in practical reality to see what is possible as my own potential




The Journey to Lifers

Take Responsibility for what is HERE as this world, within AND without:

Desteni

DIP Lite Course (FREE)


DIP Pro


Eqafe (Self Perfecting interviews, books, music, etc)


For your Info:

Destonian Wiki

Equal Life Foundation

28 June 2016

462: Desire for Quick Fixes and Instant Change

Continuing on from the previous blog where I discussed various points in relation to change and creation - the process, and the manifestation. Here and blogs to follow will be on the points I see needing some re-alignments and self-honest perspective to get me back on track in terms of living change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within/as wanting quick fixes

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within/as expecting quick fixes and instantaneous change

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see, and realize the physical space and time in how it works, and what it takes to create changes, and fixes, and to rather instead want things to move fast

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to embrace the pace of breath by breath living as an exquisite opportunity to slow time down, and to work moment by moment and realizing all that can be accomplished, changed, created, and manifested with such time available

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that to want something to happen fast – to expect instant results, and quick fixes, is to exist within the mind – to start within a point of/as the mind which moves quantum speed

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question the pace in which humanity currently lives, which is seen through drive-thru food, instant streaming online, constant uploads of pictures and posts on the internet – that to expect such instant results in my process of physical space does not exist in the context of the quantum mind speed, but rather within physical space and time – slowly but surely, moment to moment, breath by breath, 1 plus 1 accumulating change…. Nature is an example. A tree grows and changes yet you don’t see it sprout and move fast… it is a slow but sure process of accumulation – day by day

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see nature as the example in which I can apply within my own life as the process of change, transformation, and growth… to do what I can each day to accumulate the change I would like to see, and the living application I see within and as my potential

When and as I see myself wanting and expecting quick fixes, and instantaneous change, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that such a stance and starting point exists within/as the mind and so in separation of REAL physical space and time in how things actually are created, transformed, and changed…. Slowly but surely, moment to moment, breath by breath. And so I commit myself to ground myself within my physical body, within this physical existence, to walk equal to and one with what I see as nature… the slowly but surely accumulation of getting things done, of transformation, creation, and change. I commit myself to practice breath by breath living and slowing myself down to align with physical space and time and thus maximizing the opportunities I have as the time available breath by breath

I commit myself to see, realize, and understand and thus LIVE what it means to be physically grounded and aligned t physical reality as per the time it takes to change, transformation, and create

I commit myself to BE nature in how I apply and live myself

I commit myself to ground myself out of the mind, and into my physical body, my physical breath, as the real indicator of physical time and so what is possible when we utilize REAL time to the best of our ability




The Journey to Lifers

Take Responsibility for what is HERE as this world, within AND without:

Desteni

DIP Lite Course (FREE)


DIP Pro


Eqafe (Self Perfecting interviews, books, music, etc)


For your Info:

Destonian Wiki

Equal Life Foundation

21 June 2016

461: You Don't Have to be an Outsider - Invite Yourself In

Have you ever had that experience of being the outsider? Feeling excluded from the group, you just don’t fit it, and cannot connect as seemingly easy as others seem to do?

I have. Most of my life, as a child, a teenager, in my twenties, and even now and then I have this experience where I’m just on the outside of what others are ‘in on’. Like I somehow am the one looking in, standing outside of the group, or the conversation. The experience has varied throughout my life. In my twenties I suppressed the feeling by participating in social norms like going out drinking, and going to parties, putting on the facade of creating relationships with others, like I was a part of something, though of course, it wasn’t real and just pretend in a way to deny the actual experience which was when I was alone, or sober, I felt as if I wasn’t a part of anything really.

In the last few years an interesting realization came up though. I was standing again in a group setting, where I was a part of a group – there was work for us to do, relationships to build, different projects to partake in, and yet I still saw others as part of the click I didn’t get the special invite to. What I realized though in this situation was that it wasn’t actually them that were causing this feeling…. That they were not the problem, and I actually had the power to change this.

Here I was thinking others had it easy – they seem to socialize easier, were more comfortable in group settings, and in that, shined even so stood out among everyone. And so I felt excluded… that others paid more attention to other people. That I was on the outs because I wasn’t like the ‘cool’ kids (lol, like in school all over again). I suppose I was still playing the popularity game, and I wasn’t winning.

Again though, what I was to realize that there was nothing being done to me by the group. There was nothing the group was doing to specifically exclude me or make me feel like I was on the outside. There was nothing any one individual was even doing to make this my experience…. It was all inside of me. And so looking at this experience, and the situation I realized this….

If I wanted to be included, and no longer feel like I’m separated, or on the outs of the group, I had to include myself. I had to be the one to make the decision to approach the group, to engage in conversation, to be part of the discussion, and the various projects. I had to stand up and say hey, here I am, here is what I have the share. And it wasn’t about being the center of attention, or wanting others to notice me… it was simply realizing that I was the one causing, accepting, and allowing my own experience of being the outsider.

I essentially had to invite myself in.

So this was quite a cool point to realize… that I had the power to decide for myself to no longer be the outsider. To no longer participate in thoughts that suggested there was something wrong with me that others didn’t want to include me, or that there was something wrong with the group that made me feel like I wasn’t invited. I had the decision to be practical in seeing that if I wanted to be part of something, I would have to play my part – to include myself, to invite myself in.

This was the most supportive realization for me, nurtured by the responsibility I see I have to myself; to who I am, what I think, what I say, and how I act. I am fully, absolutely, in all ways responsible for myself, my experience, and so my expression and so if I want something to be different, or want something to change… I will have to be the one to do that. And so I did.

I made it a point to engage with others more, to not exclude myself based on an idea that I was not wanted, or not invited. I gave myself permission to be present, to participate.

So something I wanted to share here – the solution to being the outsider. Many people experience this with varying degrees of extensiveness, though the solution is essentially all the same. YOU. ME. We have to be the ones to find solutions for ourselves. If we find we feel like we are an outsider… then we must investigate why. What are the thoughts? What are the feelings? Where is there self-dis-empowerment taking place? Victimization? Self-definitions? That is OURS to clean up with self-forgiveness, and correct with commitment statements… and then to apply it. To live it. To live the acceptance and allowance of who you are and whether you will always see yourself as different, as less than, or more than, as on the outside, or whether you are equal in your value as a human being, as a social creature, as a participant within this reality. Insert yourself into what is going on… make yourself known, make yourself present.

A gift only you can give to you.




Featured Artwork by: Desteni Artists

The Journey to Lifers

Take Responsibility for what is HERE as this world, within AND without:

Desteni

DIP Lite Course (FREE)


DIP Pro


Eqafe (Self Perfecting interviews, books, music, etc)


For your Info:

Destonian Wiki

Equal Life Foundation

20 June 2016

460: Change and Creation - Slowly, but Surely

Not long along I began writing about an experience I had in relation to quick fixes, and instant gratification – where frequently I could see my starting point for doing something, or changing something, or applying a new habit, or stopping an old one, was existing within the point of desire – wanting it to happen NOW.

I realized, through writing about this, that change doesn’t happen like that. It’s a process. That’s why we call what we do within Desteni a process – because it takes time. It takes discipline, and commitment, and application daily to change yourself; a habit, an addiction, a pattern, a routine, an experience. We have space and time to work with – and while I could see this not long ago, it has come up again for me to re-visit.

What does it mean to create? We often fixate ourselves on the end result – the desire to have or be someone different… and we focus on that as being the most important part, when in reality – it’s the process. It’s the physical actions that accumulate the result, and that is what we call the creation Process. That is where our focus, and attention must be; that is where our efforts must be channeled.

So I’m going to share some previous writings on this to give more understanding into the experience of wanting something different quick, and how it doesn’t actually, and can’t ultimately work that way.

May 19th, 2016
How do I experience myself at the moment? There is a mix between a want and a resistance to write.

Often I look for quick fixes, and instantaneous change, and often this will be my starting point for something I apply or move myself to do. Though, often the pattern that plays out is me not sticking with it.

So for instance with writing – the want is a change in my experience, empowerment from the act. Though it’s tainted with a quick fix desire. After one session of writing I want to see results. A similar point exists within exercising. But, when that doesn’t happen… because it can’t happen, that’s not how space and time currently work, I often quit before results are produced.

The experience or thoughts within that are such as, “it’s not working,” or, “nothing is happening,” or simply the lack of positive experience from no quick fix/change implies nothing is happening.

But really, what is not happening is the mind energy/experience… No-thing. Rather the work is in the physical, slowly but surely accumulating, and the time is evidence of the effort, which results from the process.

So rather than moving from a starting point of “want for a quick fix/change” it should be, or could be an understanding of what it means to change, and create.

The want for something to change quickly, or to see the evidence of change fast is like an attempt to prove something to oneself or others.

It’s like I want to be different than who I am, and in the hopes my experience will be better or I will be better. And in this, it’s as if I am suppressing who I really am, in self-honesty, not embracing and facing the real me that I am trying to change so fast.

Though I realize until I do face, and embrace this me, I will never change.

So rather denying this me, and want to quick change me, how to prove I can and I am better than this me, I’m running from. I must slowly but surely walk the space, and time process of unfolding, seeing, understanding, forgiving, and start living. I can’t expect change overnight, or from one night of writing. I must walk the change consistently and create it as me, as who I am naturally.

**So the key here… creation, and change, is a PROCESS. The end results you see on other’s Facebook wall of them graduating, or getting a new job, or getting married, or whatever they are showing to you to say hey, look at this... look at what I created… there was days, months, maybe even years put into it. Thing’s don’t magically just change, or show up, or transform – life is a process, creation is a process and while we like to focus on the end results and get our praises, and positive feelings from it… the truth is in the Journey. What it took to create. The Process.

So patience to slowly but surely, consistently committing to oneself, to create oneself to be the best version of self. That is what this Journey is all about.

More blogs to follow up with as there are ideas of myself, beliefs, and patterns needing to be sorted in the above writing.  Till next time.




Featured Artwork by: Marlen Vargas Del Razo and other Desteni Artists

The Journey to Lifers

Take Responsibility for what is HERE as this world, within AND without:

Desteni

DIP Lite Course (FREE)


DIP Pro


Eqafe (Self Perfecting interviews, books, music, etc)


For your Info:

Destonian Wiki

Equal Life Foundation

08 May 2016

459: Our One, and Only, Interconnected World

A friend mentioned today the fires in Alberta, Canada are bringing smoke and the campfire smell to her area in Minneapolis, MN. This is the second summer I'll be in Canada, and same as last year, hearing about the wild fires crossing the border into the US, causing an affect on parts thousands of miles away.

A point to consider here is how in one place of the world - what happens there, has an affect on another part of the world, seemingly separate from the source of what is going on. Yet here it is, a small, yet significant example of the interconnectedness of our world.

Fires rage in Canada cause the US to experience the aftermath. No borders keeping out the smoke and smell. Makes our whole border situation seem silly in the first place. You can keep people contained perhaps, with the illusions of borders, but this is One Earth, and what happens on this One Earth affects us all.

Often times it's not right on our door step, or fogging up our air, or causing a stench to linger... that is when it's the easiest to just ignore the world around us, what is going on on this One Earth. But then something like this happens and you realize... we are interconnected. The changes, and experience of one part of the Earth has an affect on the rest of this world.

The radiation pouring in the Asian oceans, or the hurricanes brewing in the South, or an Earthquake in the Pacific Ocean, or the Rain Forests being rampaged for resources, or an oil spill on our Coasts... What happens on this planet happens to us all, directly or indirectly. It could be prices to spike in our super markets, or the lack of fish available to eat, or refugees pouring into our cities. There is always a consequence to each action; a drop of water in the ocean creating ripples. An outflow to every decision, and so action made... and somehow, it touches each and every single life.

It's not wise for us to wait until it becomes too obvious, we know that, and yet we do nothing to change. Prevention is the best cure, we know that, yet we don't care. We rather "enjoy the moment" than consider the bigger picture, we'd rather get our quick fix, and happy times while we still can, without considering what's to come. There will be a time when it is knocking on our door.... how we are disrupting and disturbing our ecosystems for profit, how we are killing off spectacular species for the glory of the kill, how we are pumping toxins into our air, despite having access to clean, renewable sources of energy, just because it's 'easier' to accept things as they are, and not demanding a change in our policies, and inherently, our living principles. We should care what happens in Canada, in the US, in China, in India, in Europe, in the Philippines, in Africa... we should care how life is being lived, and whether it's being provided for for All, nurtured equally, and not exploited, abused, or disregarded. This is our own Earth. Our Only Home.

We are so short sighted, not seeing how when one person suffers, we are all suffering. Sooner or later we will realize the consequence of every action, by every human, as our very society has made, and it will either be too late, or we will be just in time. We have the most instance access to information ever provided in Human History, it is our responsibility to understand this world, those that are running it, and how our direct, or indirect participation is sustaining how it currently exists. Open your eyes, and see the big picture. What exists 'out there', exists 'in here' - existent in the very nature of each person. We have a responsibility in this Life to clean up our mess, to understand our interconnected relationship, and to create a world that is Best for all.

See for real the Reality that exists for us All - See what we are doing on and to our Earth. She is vast, vulnerable, and requires our attention.



Featured Artwork by: Matti Freeman

The Journey to Lifers

Take Responsibility for what is HERE as this world, within AND without:

Desteni

DIP Lite Course (FREE)


DIP Pro


Eqafe (Self Perfecting interviews, books, music, etc)


For your Info:

Destonian Wiki

Equal Life Foundation