Kristina's Journey to Life

Last night, my partner and I pulled a card from our Osho Tarot deck to open up some points - one for him, one for me, and one for our agreement.  The card I pulled was exactly what I needed to see and brought to clarity many points that have been coming up and swirling around within me.  The card was Postponement and along with the image it helped me to see how I have been waiting and postponing and holding onto something that no longer exists... holding onto a potential from the past that I have in fact moved on from and instead of fully embracing what I've really seen, realized and understood for myself, I have been doubting, 2nd guessing, and needing permission to step into fully.  What I've realized is I am more than able and ready to step fully into myself as who I am HERE - what I see, what I realize, what I KNOW and to embrace and embody the ME that has come this far and walked very specific points and is ready, willing, and able to actualize what I've always known...

Every type of spiritual texts or channeled material or body of work that relates to the self and the development of the self, I've come across states the same thing... S L O W  D O W N. Slow down.  Move slower. Take more time to consider and reflect. Stop moving so fast.  And with having this knowledge for all these years, and having practiced it here and there, I can see there is still this rushness to "get on" with it - on to the next action, the next moment, the next step in the process of a day.  As I got up this morning and preparing to take my hour in the office before I start the day with the kids (my partner and I have set up a specific schedule for us so that I may have some time for me before the day starts and before he works for the day) - and I was stepping out of the RV and walking across the yard to our tiny house while my coffee spilled with each step I took, I reflected on my state of being.  I was rushing. I was moving fast. I was quick to get ...

What I've come to see, realize, and understand is that I am Worthy of Wealth because I was Born Wealthy.  The fact that I am breathing here, with a heart that pumps blood throughout my whole body, consistently, repeatedly, without doubt or question, assured... that tells me my worth.  I am worthy of being alive because I am.  I am worthy of this Earth because I am here.  I am worthy of Life because I was born.  I have been exploring this concept of wealth and money and worth lately - exploring ways to create more abundance and resources in my life and what I am coming to realize is that it's not about what's in my bank account, it's not about what paper I have to spend, it's not about that thing I am doing that will generate the flow I am looking for... It's about ME Realizing Who I really Am.  Because Who I really am is wealthy. Who I really am is rich in the truest sense, is worthy of everything because I AM everything! This idea that we have to work to g...

  I was looking at the word STABLE as a living word , how to express it, how to live it, how I've come to abdicate my ability to be/live the word stable, and some very cool points opened up and came through.  What I can see creates instability within/as me is when/as I accept and allow myself to exist within/as and participate within/as the Mind as reactions. When I have a thought of judgment or opinion about someone or something, or myself, or some circumstance within the polarity of what is "right" or what is "wrong" - that is when I accept and allow myself to live/be unstable.  I change - one moment I am one thing/expression and then, according to what someone says or does or how they behave or if something happens or doesn't happen, then I have a reaction - I have an idea or thought about it that is based on emotions that is based on a "right/wrong" perspective.  True stability as a living expression is the Physical. The Body. The Earth, the P...

I have been feeling the call to write here again.  I started this Journey to Life 12 years ago!? Something like that... The original purpose was to write to an equivalent of 7 years to birth myself as Life - taking daily account and responsibility for who I am in all I do and in all relationships that exist from/as me.  And I did that (to a degree) - I walked consistently to a point where I "returned to my innocence" and was born anew.  My life radically changed in a moment, which, looking back now, I can see was an accumulation of many, many, many moments and many, many, many actions and many, many, many decisions made over and over again to become the best version of myself.  And I got to that point. Or at least - I got to a point where I was so liberated within an innocence and pure love that it felt like I had reached the ultimate freedom.  Since then, which was almost 5 years ago now, I've been exploring myself and life in ways I wouldn't have allowed mysel...