367: Stop Avoiding the Present because of the Past
When and as I see myself fearing creating/building relationships with others, I stop and I breathe and do not participate as believing in the fear. I see, realize, and understand that this is not a practical fear, but an irrational fear that I have created based on past moments, and so I commit myself to deconstruct this fear and remove it from myself as no longer accepting and allowing it to direct me or have influence/power over me within and throughout my life
When and as I see myself wanting to keep a distance within myself and others as not wanting to build/sustain relationships with people, I stop and I breathe and do not participate in this 'want' as I see, realize and understand that this 'want' or desire has a starting point within/as fear, which is irrational and not practical and so is not valid as an accepted and allowed experience of myself and so I commit myself to get to know and understand where this fear is coming from and how I created it, to remove it from myself and thus no longer allowing myself to justify a fear within me that keeps me limited within staying the same, and that in the end, limits me from doing more for myself that could potentially be best for me
When and as I see myself defining relationships with people as difficult, I stop and I breathe and do not allow myself to participate within this belief/definition as I see, realize, and understand that this is only fueling my fear/resistance to building/sustaining relationships with others and so is not in fact best for me, and so I commit myself to redefine what it means to relate and interact with others, and to see the benefit in building and sustaining relationships with others and so no more accept and allow a definition based in fear keep me from doing what is necessary in the context of developing myself in specific areas of my life
When and as I see myself thinking and believing that creating and sustaining relationships is hard within the thoughts and ideas that I must change me in order for others to like me, I stop and I breathe and ground myself in my body and do not participate in such ideas as i see, realize and understand that to follow through in changing me when I relate/interact with others, I am essentially putting in more work then necessary and not allowing me to simply be here and be with others and so then it's obvious why I think it is 'hard work' because i am doing something that is not necessary and instead only based in a fear of others not liking me, and so I change me in order to get others to like me - here I commit myself to get to know myself and change the relationship I have with me and so start liking myself as that is the source, cause, origin of why I think others will not like me, because at it's core, I do not like myself and think I'm not good enough and then project this unto others and so I commit myself to redefining my relationship to me as the priority relationship to sort out and so no longer project it unto others in thinking 'they' will not like me and so I must change for 'them' to like me - instead I change for ME, and get to know myself and live in such a way where I can like me and enjoy me and thus can simply express me when interacting with others - here I realize that creating and sustaining relationships with others become much more easy as I am no longer participating in the projecting of me not being likable and so putting in effort to change in order for them to like me - when I like me, I do not need others to like me and so do not have to change for them and thus will prevent the want to avoid the 'difficult relationships' as I am sorting out and directing the relationship that determines all others - the one with me
When and as I see myself defining relationships as useless, I stop and I breathe and do not participate within this idea/belief/definition. I see, realize, and understand that this idea/thought is coming from past experiences and seeing how they have turned out in conflict and turmoil and never lasting and within my current experience as wanting to avoid relationships and so to no longer accept this of myself, to no longer carry the past with me, or live in the past based on memories of past relationships, I commit myself to not participate in this aspect of the fear and the memories related to it, that I am facing and walking through and so support myself to see how relationships can be and are beneficial when/as I am directing and expressing myself to the best of my ability - then relationships become equally beneficial and useful
I commit myself to walk in the moment, as the present, as to not limit myself and avoid potential beneficial relationships with others simply because of what happened in the past, instead I commit myself to give myself a new moment and a new opportunity to redefine who I am within relationships with others
When and as I see myself wanting to avoid relationships with people, and justifying why I want or must have few relaitonships in my life, I stop and I breathe and do not allow myself to participate within this want based in fear, as I see, realize and understand that this is coming from past memories of relationships with others wherein I experience negative emotions and so wanting to avoid relationships is me really wanting to avoid negative emotions and experiences I've had in the past. I also see, realize, and understand that instead of avoiding these negative emotions/energies, I can actually change myself within relationships with others wherein no conflict or negative energies exist as I am actually responsible for accepting and allowing that, and so I commit myself to instead of running from or wanting to avoid relationships based on past memories of relationships 'going bad', I instead face myself within relationships, and direct myself within myself, and so within the relationships, wherein I do not allow those reactions to exist, in investigating them for myself, seeing where and how and why they exist, and walking the process of self-forgiveness and self-correction to actually change it and so I commit myself to stop thinking I must run from the past and the experience I've had, and instead learn how to CHANGE me in relation to them, as no longer allowing negative emotions and experiences to direct me from changing me and keeping me in the same box of limits wherein I think I am protected
When and as I see myself resisting creating and sustaining relationships as not realizing that relationships is what MOVES this world, I stop and I breathe and do not allow myself to participate within this resistance, as I see, realize and understand that this world is set up on relationships and human interaction, and to limit myself within them, is to limit myself within this world and to limit myself as the movement within/as this world and so I commit myself to step outside of my comfort zone wherein I think and believe I 'prefer' to be alone or with only a few people I am most comfortable with, and instead face my insecurities, my fears, my anxieties about relating and connecting with others and thus move beyond the limits I have designed for myself and so supporting myself and others to create and sustain relationships that is beneficial for both and ultimately for all
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