Kristina's Journey to Life

I hereby commit myself to live the following principles: 1 - Realizing and living my utmost potential 2 - Living by the principle of what is best for all - guiding me in thought, word and deed to always in all ways direct problems to the best possible outcome for all 3 - Living by the principle of self honesty - to ensure I am pure in thoughts, word and deed: that my within and without is equal and one. Who I am within is who I am without and vice-versa 4 - Self Purification through Writing, Self Forgiveness and Self Application - the action of realizing I am responsible for my own thoughts, words and deeds, to forgive myself for transgressions and change myself to ensure I take responsibility for who, what and how I am and through this know that I can trust myself to always be honest with me and so others 5 - Living the principle of Self Responsibility - realizing only I am responsible for what I accept and allow inside of me, my relationships and my outside world and so wit...

In continuing from yesterday's blog , with regards to the reaction I had to the time it would take me to get something done, where I reacted negatively to the idea of it taking me 50 days to complete an assignment. Some things for me to consider: When looking at the 'natural world' as this physical reality , and the things that grow here 'naturally' - what I see is trees, and plants that take their sweet time to grow and develop and in that process, it is never as the process is 'complete' - it is simply here, doing it's thing, like a tree - converting the CO2 into oxygen, absorbing the sunlight, giving a home to a vastness of species, I mean it does what it does without an end result pushing it to do more in a quicker amount of time. And while I understand the perspective that one can become efficient in how they utilize time and maximize it to get things done - when one is moving to reach an end result to define oneself within an idea that 'q...

The other day I was discussing with someone how I was looking at/considering completing an assignment for my current Agreement Course lesson. The lesson is on redefining words and so I was looking at going through that process of one word a day. I found it to be practical for me to do a little bit each day in working with other SRA lessons and so considered it could work for this lesson as well. When I considered this specific application of one word a day, I had a reaction to it in thinking , "there are 50 words I must do, that will be 50 days!" And the reaction was in the nature of negativity as "that is too long." I didn't like the idea of it taking 50 days for me to complete this lesson within thinking that's too long, that is taking too much time for one lesson and I must move faster with it, as to just get it done. The person I was communicating about this with suggested that was a cool application of consistency, which is something I was not...

Validation. This word has become a positive feedback mechanism wherein we are in this constant search for this illusive point. The problem is we have separated ourselves from living the word validation - instead of it being an expression of who we are - as validating ourselves; accepting ourselves, substantiating ourselves within who we are and how we live, we instead turn to others, to our outside world and environment to give us this point of validation - to confirm to us that we are okay, we are acceptable, and we belong. The consequence of this - a human being lacking any real courage to live for self, to do for self, to express for self, instead we are always looking for someone or something to give it to us. This is where Self ForGIVEness comes in. We must give to ourselves that which we seek from others - that is where the gift is, in seeing what we are looking for outside of ourselves and in turn, gifting it back to ourselves through embracing/giving/living it ourselv...

After watching a documentary called "Big Sugar," and writing a blog about it - here are personal points for which I applied self forgiveness for: I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to purchase and consume sugar in the various forms it comes in from chocolate to breads and meats, without any awareness , consideration or understanding of how it got to the shelf in which I've picked it up from and instead simply see it there for me to purchase and consume and thus abdicate the responsibility I have to the rest of my world wherein fellow human beings must suffer dire conditions simply so that I am able to consume sugar I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that from this awareness of knowing where and how my sugar came to be on the shelf from which I can pick it up and buy it with my money , being that which beings must suffer in conditions that I would never want to be in myself, think that the solution to...

I notice that people (including myself), tend to get caught up in the emotional reactions around a particular situation or event that happens in one’s life. Say for instance something unexpected happens to you and you find there is an immediate reaction of thinking ‘what is going on’, ‘why is this happening’. We generally then want to fall into the emotional reactions we have around this particular event, especially when it involves other people in which we've had a volatile relationship with. What I noticed within myself today when being around such a situation, where me and my family were faced and so dealing with a particular situation that required our direction and movement within the legal system to get information and find out options in which we have to get through a particular event – the tendency was to go into the recent past of how this situation developed and what caused it and what could have prevented it or going into future moments of how this could be change...

Pardon my absence from the online blogging - for those that read my blog and do not know, I was busy finishing up with my last semester at my current college. I decided, with the course-load that I had, to give my full attention to my studies and so the time I had available I have been giving to strictly work and school. I have just finished my last final and in the last week, as I've been slowly finishing up everything for each class, I have been in an anticipation mode of this great release from anxiety - like waiting for this weight to come off my shoulders and to be able to breathe a big sigh of relief. It didn't come and hasn't come. And while I am now actually finished, completely - I still experience myself the same. The cool point within this is to see and realize that the school work is not the 'cause' of my stressed experience, of feeling like there was so much to do with so little time - and that for me to expect this relief feeling to come after ...