Im a Destonian

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533: When Behaviors and Patterns start to Flare Up

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At the moment I've been noticing a particular pattern/ behavior of mine flare up in a way - where I'm participating in it more and more. In the past it would then trigger judgments, and frustration because what the heck - I'm allowing this behavior when I'm in fact supposed to be changing it. Though I've seen this before.. where you are in a way working with a particular point to change, then it all of a sudden seems like you no longer have control over it, and the behavior/pattern has a mind of it's own... this has happened when I've been actually directly working on such a point with the use of Mind Constructs in the Desteni I Proccess . Mind Constructs are a specific tool which allows one to dig deep into the roots of certain behaviors... sourcing the memories of our life where we have through time created and substantiate the behaviors/patterns that are now playing out in our life. I have been working on this particular behavior that I've not
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Day 190: Raising my Voice and Running Away - The Truth Revealed

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This is a continuation of a series I am currently walking: 181: The Birth of a Bully 182: The Birth of a Bully part 2 183: The Bully Character in All it's Dimensions: Memory #1 184: Bonding over Names and Shared Interests 185: What we Allow within Inferiority and Superiority 186: Seeing Equality Through Polarity & Dumping Life for Illusion 188: Who I am Within the Decision/Choice I Make So looks here we are into the physical dimension of the experience of myself in the moment of 'dumping' my friend Cristina for a desired definition of myself: Raising the tone of my voice because Cristina did not believe me - so raising my voice as 'getting more serious' so that she will understand that I will no longer be her friend I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to raise my voice tonality within frustration as the reaction to Cristina 'not getting it' wherein she did not actually believe me that I would no longer be her friend and
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263: Fear of Loss - Fear of Letting Go

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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of points within myself, within my life that I have attached value to as being important or somehow giving me something that without - I could not or would not have I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of the attachments I have created towards points separate and outside of me here, through and as my mind I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to let go of those points within myself and within my life that I have attached a positive energy and definition towards - where I do not want to let go of them at all, I fear letting go of them because I fear not having them/it I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself within defining myself according to something outside and separate from me here as having a positive value judgment I have given to it and to within this define myself as better or more or my life
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