23 July 2013

219: It's Only Me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my self responsibility as self investigation and reflection through writing, self forgiveness and self honesty through projecting myself, my process and ‘my points’ unto others in making my attention and focus unto others and what ‘they’ are doing and what ‘they’ are facing and how 'they’ must change – instead of realizing it’s ALL ME that I see within and as 'them'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately ignore myself as abdicating my self responsibility to sorting out myself and who I am as the conditioned nature of myself as self interest in attempting to not have to face myself or sort out what I accept and allow as myself in each moment through existing in thoughts and back chats about others and their process and what they are doing or not doing and to within this blame them for how they walk their process instead of realizing I am projecting all of myself unto others in attempt to hide yet still facing myself directly as the gift of a mirror

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that how others walk their process determines the relationship I have with them instead of realizing I am an equal participant and the points that emerge are my equal responsibility as I am an equal in relationship and so what is ‘here’ as my relationships with others is a reflection of my self relationship – and what I see in another is a reflection of what exists within me and so all thoughts, all judgments, all ideas, all opinions, all beliefs, all desires, all fears, all wishes, all things that I allow to exist within me in relation to others are actually and simply only me and so I forgive myself that I Have not allowed myself to face, address and become self honest about that which I see in another and within me in relation to another as the reactions that come up within me realizing they are IN ME and thus MY creation, my existence - my responsibility

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to always throughout my life exist within and as the focus of a relationship with another and give attention to what another is doing and essentially blame them for the experience of myself – within this basically justifying my reactions and experiences as ‘their fault’ instead of realizing it is me, through my acceptance and allowance of ‘who I am’ in relation to these points brought up in relation to others and thus my responsibility to stop and sort out and remove from within/as me as my process of self change

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to resist facing myself through relationships with others wherein I focus on others more than myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to hide from myself in relationships with others

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to blame relationships with others for why my life is not going as I would like it to go instead of realizing I am creating my life and my experience within/as it as what I accept and allow within and without in each and every single moment and thus the blame towards another is also a projection of the self blame as I see I am not walking my process of walking out of the mind and into actual physical reality/living as effectively as I see possible and so instead of blaming - simply stopping and changing

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to want to end relationships with others out of spite and blame as projecting self responsibility onto another as the reason/cause/source/origin for why I experience myself the way that I do instead of realizing I am creating it in placing my value, stability and ability to walk my process unto another

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to exist within my ego as taking another’s process personally wherein I will react to another and their process and how they walk, instead of realizing the reflection I see as the gift to me showing me where I have the opportunity to change myself, to perfect myself – to stop myself from constantly separating myself from that which I see outside of me and instead bring it back to me

I forgive myself that I Have not allowed myself to live the realization that ‘all is me’ as bringing all points back to me – everything that goes on within my mind, as my internal experience – any reactions, emotions, feelings, whether positive or negative and the trigger points that are outside of me as the gift of the mirror that show me what exists within me – back to myself to be able to actually get to know myself for real, to stop the blame and limitations as the ego of reaction

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from myself and my process and my self agreement through/as giving attention, focus and value as importance to relationships outside and separate from me here, instead of realizing that all relationships that I participate with and how they unfold are an outflow of me and thus I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to take full self responsibility for the relationships I have within my world as the reflection of the relationship I have within me and thus use the gifts as relationships are to be the mirror in which self can see who self really is and I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing the mirror as relationships with others as I attempt to hide from the truth of myself because in the face of the truth of myself I have to become self honest and change me and that I am finding is like a deliberate dance as moving away from it in attempting to not have to change

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to attempt in all ways to hide form myself as focusing on others I am in relationships with – wherein I make it ‘about them’ and what they are doing and how they can change and when they do not change in how I expect, like or desire, react to them within blaming them – not realizing what I am actually seeing is my dishonesty, my attempt to run from myself, to not take responsibility for myself, to not have to face myself and so in essence not have to change myself and so within this I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to use others as a projection for me to attempt to not have to change myself

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the simplicity of the process that I walk and the unnecessary difficulty I create within myself when I do not apply the effective and simplistic tools I have been giving and supported with consistently and unconditionally which is breathing, writing, self honesty, self forgiveness – bringing all points back to me in realizing the equality and oneness that is here from the perspective that all is me – I am only seeing me, as who I have accepted and allowed myself to become – so I am always facing my mind and when my mind tells me that it’s “their fault” I experience myself the way that I do or my life is going the way it is that is a clear red flag that I am abdicating my self responsibility to become self honest in taking back the point back to myself – to see where in me exist what I see, what I react to, what I judge, what I perceive, what I value – anything that I say “is them” is actually me and so I forgive myself that I Have not allowed myself to live this realization practically and physically consistently within my life, day to day, moment by moment through the tools of writing and self forgiveness in bring myself back to me here, back to where I have the ability to actually become directive principle of myself in no longer being influenced by outside forces such as relationships – as I see/realize/understand that what is ‘out there’ is actually ‘in here’ and so I commit myself to take responsibility for ALL that is here as me, within and without through the Journey to Life and with the tools of writing and self honesty



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