28 October 2012

Day 84 - The Good Grades wont Last

This point is in relation to putting off school work, not dealing with it when the time is necessary and the justifications I make up for it in my Mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put off doing the studies I required within the belief that “I’m still doing well in school”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify reasons as to why I put off doing my studies for the last minute within the back chat of “I am getting good grades”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a resistance to doing school work and thus when the time comes for me to sit down and do what needs to be done for my classes, separate myself from the moment of breath and go within my mind and participate/validate the resistance with back chat of, “I’m doing well in school, I can put this off for later, I’m still getting good grades” instead of realizing that as life, school is a process of accumulation, and whether I am allowing moments of “not doing work” accumulate within my life, then I will find myself at the point of saying, What the fuck – how am I so behind, because I allowed myself to give into resistances and accumulate moments of not doing school work when I so easily could have, if I just in that moment of resistance, stop, breathe, bring myself back here to get it done

I forgive myself that I have not yet allowed myself to realize that school, like all things in life, is a process of accumulation – a process of getting each point done and dealt with to then be able to move on ensure all points are being addressed, and thus I forgive myself that I Have instead of allowing myself to walk each step within studying, as I walk with each breath, go into resistances and tell myself, “it’s ok I can do this later” when I realize this is a character defense of not wanting to take responsibility for myself within school and thus I forgive myself that I have not yet allowed myself to take full responsibility for myself within school, within realizing that the only way to succeed is to SIMPLY do the work

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put my studies to the very last minute wherein I then create and energy experience within myself of rushing and hurrying and worry to ensure I get the work done and so that I am prepared for class, instead of realizing the unneccesaryness of this creation, realizing I am creating this, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and participate in the energy of “rushing and hurrying” when dealing with school work, instead of taking time each day to do what is necessary to be done within school

When and as I see myself ready to sit down and do some school work, and then experience a resistance wherein I tell myself “I can do this later” – I stop and I breathe, realizing that to allow this point to accumulate will lead me to a situation wherein I am accepting and allowing energy to direct me in “getting it done” because I have saved it all to the last minute and so I stop and I breathe and do not create this for myself, I allow myself to in the moment, do what is necessary to be done to then be DONE with it so that I can move on to the next point necessary within my responsibility

I commit myself to stop sabotaging myself within school work

I commit myself to stop saving my school work to the last minute and then participate in energy to “quickly get it done”

I commit myself to give myself the time necessary to do what is necessary to be done within my school work

I commit myself to stop all resistances in moments when facing a responsibility

I commit myself to breathing through and not allow resistances to direct me and my life

I commit myself to give time each day to do school work to support me within my studies and process of education

I commit myself to give myself all to the process I am walking within school, realizing it is necessary to be done and like anything in life, if I am not will to give all of myself, then I am not really standing in self honesty in the decision I make to go back to school

I commit myself to not use the excuse that I’m getting good grades in school as a reason as to why I can “put it off” for later, realizing there is no ‘later’, I am always here

I commit myself to breathing in each moment to ensure I am directing myself to make decisions within self honesty, so that I do not end up sabotaging myself in the end and accepting and allowing that which I see/realizing and understand does not support me

I commit myself to live the realization that each moment is an accumulation of a decision of ‘who I am’ and thus I commit myself to breath in each moment to live self honesty and to thus accumulate what is best for all within this world within the decisions I make in each moment of my life

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